Dmitri woke again in the night with a start. He had thought of another idea. Rushing to his terminal, he quickly typed out the short letter he wanted, then sent it to the printer downstairs. Jumping down the stairs two at a time, he arrived moments later in the printing room. The letters were already there, and he quickly got envelopes from a nearby shelf, addressed them quickly, and sealed them with wax. Running to the mailroom, he put the letters in the slot labeled “Top Government Priority” and sent them.
Now that these letters were sent, he went back to bed, ready for a full night of sleep. Ready to dream about the plan he had just set in motion…..
Now that these letters were sent, he went back to bed, ready for a full night of sleep. Ready to dream about the plan he had just set in motion…..
“Why in the world did you send me a letter that said ‘The JBS is coming back’?” asked Pyotr the next morning at breakfast. “You live right next door to me. You could have told me this in person.”
Dmitri shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I just thought you’d like to receive a letter, just like everyone else.”
“Was this what you were doing late last night?” asked Pyotr. “Clomping around to send out letters?”
“Dmitri, this is Top Government Priority mail,” said Helorie, looking at the envelope. “You should not be using that to send letters to your own brother.”
Dmitri sighed. Nobody appreciated the lengths he was going to.
“What is the JBS?” asked Zarya.
“We never really came up with an acronym for it,” replied Dmitri. “We called it that because some lady called us the Junior Baby Squad.”
Zarya picked up the letter she’d been sent. “And you want me to join?”
“Yes,” said Dmitri. “We’re creating a new, better Junior Baby Squad. We’re inviting lots more people. You, Sevvie, all of Jiro’s boyfriends. Sasha.”
Zarya rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’ve been included with all of Jiro’s boyfriends? What an exclusive group this is.”
“We really want you there, Zarya,” said Dmitri. “Or at least I want you!”
“A true vote of confidence,” replied Zarya. “I suppose I’ll come.”
Pyotr sighed. “I don’t really want to waste my time on the Junior Baby Squad again.”
“Do you think someone else wants to come, then?” asked Dmitri.
After a moment, Pyotr slumped over on the table. “Kseniya really wants to be a member.”
Dmitri shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I just thought you’d like to receive a letter, just like everyone else.”
“Was this what you were doing late last night?” asked Pyotr. “Clomping around to send out letters?”
“Dmitri, this is Top Government Priority mail,” said Helorie, looking at the envelope. “You should not be using that to send letters to your own brother.”
Dmitri sighed. Nobody appreciated the lengths he was going to.
“What is the JBS?” asked Zarya.
“We never really came up with an acronym for it,” replied Dmitri. “We called it that because some lady called us the Junior Baby Squad.”
Zarya picked up the letter she’d been sent. “And you want me to join?”
“Yes,” said Dmitri. “We’re creating a new, better Junior Baby Squad. We’re inviting lots more people. You, Sevvie, all of Jiro’s boyfriends. Sasha.”
Zarya rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’ve been included with all of Jiro’s boyfriends? What an exclusive group this is.”
“We really want you there, Zarya,” said Dmitri. “Or at least I want you!”
“A true vote of confidence,” replied Zarya. “I suppose I’ll come.”
Pyotr sighed. “I don’t really want to waste my time on the Junior Baby Squad again.”
“Do you think someone else wants to come, then?” asked Dmitri.
After a moment, Pyotr slumped over on the table. “Kseniya really wants to be a member.”
All the old members and new prospective members of the Junior Baby Squad had gathered, over a dozen adolescents. Dmitri was, of course, the leader and organizer again, and Kseniya was there as well, happy to be a member of the club. Morti was sitting next to her, and Zarya was sitting on the other side of Dmitri.
Jiro had brought Sasha and Sevvie, and was sitting with Eurynomos, Cadis, and Lucien across the room. Kallei was there as well, sitting next to her brother. Adaris and Dominik had arrived all the way from the celestial realms, and finally, Vaska, Valentin’s quasiplatonic partner, was sitting quietly in a corner, waiting for the meeting to begin.
Finally, Dmitri stood up, ready to call the meeting to order. “Hello, everyone! Welcome to the second version of the JBS! The better version! No longer will we just be a group of 5 kids, trying to fight crime. Now we will be…. At least 18 kids! Trying to fight crime!”
Morti began to clap, a bit pre-emptively, and with that, Kseniya began to clap as well, and soon the whole room besides Sevvie and Zarya was clapping. Sevvie and Zarya exchanged knowing looks at one another. After a moment, Sevvie raised her hand.
“I heard about the original Junior Baby Squad from Jiro. And frankly, it was doomed to failure. Do we have a plan to actually succeed this time? Strength in numbers, sure, I’m here, sure, but without a lot better strategy we’re doomed to fail.”
Dmitri hesitated. Frankly, that was kind of what he was expecting? If one of his plans succeeded, it’d be a real Orredmas miracle.
Eurynomos said, “Well, we could always train a lot more than the original group? And maybe get some advice from other vigilantes.”
Sevvie rolled her eyes. “Oh, what, are we just going to walk up the Kirov Stabber and ask him to train us?”
“I mean, yeah?” said Eurynomos. “I’m sure the Kirov Stabber would be thrilled to meet a group of vigilante teenagers willing to carry down the mantle? Even though I don’t think the Stabber is going to retire anytime soon?”
Sasha raised a hand. “And maybe my dads would want to help?” This was a confusing statement, as Sasha called Illiam, Xander, Georg, and Sebastian dads.
“I think if we all work together, we can accomplish a lot!” Said Kallei. “My dads would like to help, too, I’m sure.”
Dmitri wanted to sigh, but refrained. The whole point of this was not to interact with parents! “Okay, but we can’t let anyone know about the Junior Baby Squad! It’s a secret!”
“I told my fathers where I was going…” said Adaris.
“Dad heard you talk about it at breakfast.” commented Kseniya.
“Well then, let’s at least try our best to keep it more secret from now on. Sevvie, you have a good point with training, so let’s all start training. The training rooms should be empty right now, so let’s hope that nobody interrupts us again. “
Jiro had brought Sasha and Sevvie, and was sitting with Eurynomos, Cadis, and Lucien across the room. Kallei was there as well, sitting next to her brother. Adaris and Dominik had arrived all the way from the celestial realms, and finally, Vaska, Valentin’s quasiplatonic partner, was sitting quietly in a corner, waiting for the meeting to begin.
Finally, Dmitri stood up, ready to call the meeting to order. “Hello, everyone! Welcome to the second version of the JBS! The better version! No longer will we just be a group of 5 kids, trying to fight crime. Now we will be…. At least 18 kids! Trying to fight crime!”
Morti began to clap, a bit pre-emptively, and with that, Kseniya began to clap as well, and soon the whole room besides Sevvie and Zarya was clapping. Sevvie and Zarya exchanged knowing looks at one another. After a moment, Sevvie raised her hand.
“I heard about the original Junior Baby Squad from Jiro. And frankly, it was doomed to failure. Do we have a plan to actually succeed this time? Strength in numbers, sure, I’m here, sure, but without a lot better strategy we’re doomed to fail.”
Dmitri hesitated. Frankly, that was kind of what he was expecting? If one of his plans succeeded, it’d be a real Orredmas miracle.
Eurynomos said, “Well, we could always train a lot more than the original group? And maybe get some advice from other vigilantes.”
Sevvie rolled her eyes. “Oh, what, are we just going to walk up the Kirov Stabber and ask him to train us?”
“I mean, yeah?” said Eurynomos. “I’m sure the Kirov Stabber would be thrilled to meet a group of vigilante teenagers willing to carry down the mantle? Even though I don’t think the Stabber is going to retire anytime soon?”
Sasha raised a hand. “And maybe my dads would want to help?” This was a confusing statement, as Sasha called Illiam, Xander, Georg, and Sebastian dads.
“I think if we all work together, we can accomplish a lot!” Said Kallei. “My dads would like to help, too, I’m sure.”
Dmitri wanted to sigh, but refrained. The whole point of this was not to interact with parents! “Okay, but we can’t let anyone know about the Junior Baby Squad! It’s a secret!”
“I told my fathers where I was going…” said Adaris.
“Dad heard you talk about it at breakfast.” commented Kseniya.
“Well then, let’s at least try our best to keep it more secret from now on. Sevvie, you have a good point with training, so let’s all start training. The training rooms should be empty right now, so let’s hope that nobody interrupts us again. “
“So it turns out that JBS is some sort of group for vigilante teenagers,” said Eurynomos. “I think it sounds pretty cool, I had no idea Jiro had been a vigilante like you two. I think I’d like to try it out.”
“Can I be a vigilante too?” asked Kaima.
“No, you can’t,” said Krenmyr. “You’re only fifteen, sweetie. Eat your liver. Eurynomos, I think you’d make a great crime fighter! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Really? Can you meet the group? Like, as the Stabber?”
“Um, okay, what’s going to be the story about how you just happen to know the Kirov Stabber?” asked Mazin.
“I’ll just say that that I found them one day and asked them to help the group.”
Mazin sighed. He doubted anyone would believe that.
“Can I be a vigilante too?” asked Kaima.
“No, you can’t,” said Krenmyr. “You’re only fifteen, sweetie. Eat your liver. Eurynomos, I think you’d make a great crime fighter! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Really? Can you meet the group? Like, as the Stabber?”
“Um, okay, what’s going to be the story about how you just happen to know the Kirov Stabber?” asked Mazin.
“I’ll just say that that I found them one day and asked them to help the group.”
Mazin sighed. He doubted anyone would believe that.
“Wow, how amazing!” Morti couldn’t believe that she was going to meet the real Kirov Stabber, and even get to see the Legendary Stab-Zone. “Eurynomos, you must be the luckiest person in the world. You really found the Kirov Stabber!”
“Yup, I found them,” said Eurynomos. “Lots of luck.”
“It is very lucky of you,” said Jiro with a wink, and Eurynomos smiled back at his boyfriend. “Do you want to come over after we meet the Stabber? Fedor’s coming too. My father wants to give you another combat lesson.”
“Oh heck yeah,” replied Eurynomos. “Your dad can teach me about combat anytime.”
“Can we get on with this?” asked Sevvie. “I don’t have all day, I need to be back to Xiaomen in like, an hour. Unlike some people, I actually have a job.”
“Aren’t you an unpaid intern?” asked Kallei.
Sevvie sighed. “I guess you could call it that, if you wanted to talk about how I am training to be an empress in the most boring way possible.”
Kallei opened her mouth to reply when the Stabber appeared, dropping down from the sky dramatically. Morti clapped her hands excitedly. It really was the Kirov Stabber, not one of the several imitators or copycats!
“Wow, Kirov Stabber, I didn’t think you’d really come,” said Eurynomos. “Um, thanks for coming.”
The Stabber nodded, before signing to the assembled teens, “Everyone, let’s please go into the Stab Zone to speak.”
Ey opened the portal to the Stab Zone. Once again, this was not a name the Stabber had chosen for eir own secret base and headquarters, but a name that had been chosen for em, like the Junior Baby Squad’s own name. They arrived outside the main keep of the demiplane, and the Stabber let the kids in.
Morti papped one of the many giant spiders who occupied the castle. “Very cute.”
Sevvie looked at the spider. “Um, a spider? Just like your dad, huh, Eurynomos?”
“Um, what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Eurynomos. “Spiders are very popular pets. What, if it had been a dog, would you have tried to imply one of Cadis’s dads was the Stabber?”
Kallei started laughing hysterically, and everyone turned to look at her. She smiled at Cadis. “Sorry, I’m just imagining Papa as the Stabber….”
Cadis laughed slightly. It was a pretty funny mental image. He too papped a spider. They were very friendly, even for giant spiders.
“I think something that every vigilante needs is some sort of base,” begun the Stabber. “Somewhere they can go to rest and recover that won’t be connected to their mortal identity. There’s, well, a lot of you kids, so you’ll have to find some place that will fit you all. That’s why I have my Shadow Keep, which the media has chosen to christen ‘The Stab Zone.’”
Morti asked, “Do you have any recommendations about choosing a name? We had a lot of trouble with that last time.”
The Stabber shrugged. “Choose one before the media chooses it for you. I really wanted something better than the Kirov Stabber. I don’t really do all that much stabbing, honestly.”
They then followed the Stabber to a room full of costumes. “Disguising yourself magically is an important level of disguise, but remember, magical disguises can always been seen through with true seeing and similar abilities. It’s best to disguise yourself in multiple ways. I keep my face completely covered and always sign instead of speaking aloud in this identity. Morti, I know you know sign language, how many of you other kids do?”
Morti was stunned. The Stabber knew her name? This was incredible.
Several of the people raised their hands. Jiro, who was one of them, offered, “Sevvie and I don’t know very much Uldoki Sign Language, but we do know Infernal Sign Language very well. I’m not even sure how we’re understanding you so well, I guess we must know more than we thought.”
The Stabber nodded. “Well, I’m wearing a bracelet of understanding. It lets people understand sign language, even if they regularly wouldn’t. They can be kind of pricey, though I have heard they’re working on mass producing them so that more people can easily afford them. But even if they’re still a bit expensive, I think they’re a very worthwhile investment.”
Morti, having telepathy as a backup, didn’t have one of the bracelets, but her brother Vara did, as did many other members of her family, so she was familiar with the concept. Dominik raised a hand.
“I can connect a lot of the group via telepathy, but it does sound like a very solid item to have. Do you have any other magical items you’d recommend?”
If Dominik could see beneath the Stabber’s mask, they would see that ey were smiling widely.
“Yup, I found them,” said Eurynomos. “Lots of luck.”
“It is very lucky of you,” said Jiro with a wink, and Eurynomos smiled back at his boyfriend. “Do you want to come over after we meet the Stabber? Fedor’s coming too. My father wants to give you another combat lesson.”
“Oh heck yeah,” replied Eurynomos. “Your dad can teach me about combat anytime.”
“Can we get on with this?” asked Sevvie. “I don’t have all day, I need to be back to Xiaomen in like, an hour. Unlike some people, I actually have a job.”
“Aren’t you an unpaid intern?” asked Kallei.
Sevvie sighed. “I guess you could call it that, if you wanted to talk about how I am training to be an empress in the most boring way possible.”
Kallei opened her mouth to reply when the Stabber appeared, dropping down from the sky dramatically. Morti clapped her hands excitedly. It really was the Kirov Stabber, not one of the several imitators or copycats!
“Wow, Kirov Stabber, I didn’t think you’d really come,” said Eurynomos. “Um, thanks for coming.”
The Stabber nodded, before signing to the assembled teens, “Everyone, let’s please go into the Stab Zone to speak.”
Ey opened the portal to the Stab Zone. Once again, this was not a name the Stabber had chosen for eir own secret base and headquarters, but a name that had been chosen for em, like the Junior Baby Squad’s own name. They arrived outside the main keep of the demiplane, and the Stabber let the kids in.
Morti papped one of the many giant spiders who occupied the castle. “Very cute.”
Sevvie looked at the spider. “Um, a spider? Just like your dad, huh, Eurynomos?”
“Um, what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Eurynomos. “Spiders are very popular pets. What, if it had been a dog, would you have tried to imply one of Cadis’s dads was the Stabber?”
Kallei started laughing hysterically, and everyone turned to look at her. She smiled at Cadis. “Sorry, I’m just imagining Papa as the Stabber….”
Cadis laughed slightly. It was a pretty funny mental image. He too papped a spider. They were very friendly, even for giant spiders.
“I think something that every vigilante needs is some sort of base,” begun the Stabber. “Somewhere they can go to rest and recover that won’t be connected to their mortal identity. There’s, well, a lot of you kids, so you’ll have to find some place that will fit you all. That’s why I have my Shadow Keep, which the media has chosen to christen ‘The Stab Zone.’”
Morti asked, “Do you have any recommendations about choosing a name? We had a lot of trouble with that last time.”
The Stabber shrugged. “Choose one before the media chooses it for you. I really wanted something better than the Kirov Stabber. I don’t really do all that much stabbing, honestly.”
They then followed the Stabber to a room full of costumes. “Disguising yourself magically is an important level of disguise, but remember, magical disguises can always been seen through with true seeing and similar abilities. It’s best to disguise yourself in multiple ways. I keep my face completely covered and always sign instead of speaking aloud in this identity. Morti, I know you know sign language, how many of you other kids do?”
Morti was stunned. The Stabber knew her name? This was incredible.
Several of the people raised their hands. Jiro, who was one of them, offered, “Sevvie and I don’t know very much Uldoki Sign Language, but we do know Infernal Sign Language very well. I’m not even sure how we’re understanding you so well, I guess we must know more than we thought.”
The Stabber nodded. “Well, I’m wearing a bracelet of understanding. It lets people understand sign language, even if they regularly wouldn’t. They can be kind of pricey, though I have heard they’re working on mass producing them so that more people can easily afford them. But even if they’re still a bit expensive, I think they’re a very worthwhile investment.”
Morti, having telepathy as a backup, didn’t have one of the bracelets, but her brother Vara did, as did many other members of her family, so she was familiar with the concept. Dominik raised a hand.
“I can connect a lot of the group via telepathy, but it does sound like a very solid item to have. Do you have any other magical items you’d recommend?”
If Dominik could see beneath the Stabber’s mask, they would see that ey were smiling widely.
Nearly an hour later, the Kirov Stabber had listed off a ‘short list’ of essential items nearly some hundred entries long. Jiro wasn’t sure when he’d ever need fake teeth or alchemical cement, but he’d try to rustle up some of the items on the list.
“Well, next time, everyone, we’ll get to costuming. See you then!”
“Wow, the Kirov Stabber is so much more cooler than I even imagined!” said Morti. “I can’t believe they already knew my name.”
“I guess they’re a fan, Morti,” said Eurynomos.
“Do you really think so?”
Eurynomos smiled. “I think so.” It was true. Out of all of Eurynomos’s friends, Morti was one of Krenmyr’s favorites.
Sevvie had finished the spell, and a glowing portal had formed besides her. “Alright, everyone who needs to hitch a ride to the Maelys-Zone, the train is leaving now.”
“That’s a bit of a mixed metaphor, Sevvie,” said Dominik.
Sevvie shrugged. “Not really. You ride a train, don’t you?”
Dominik and Adaris stepped through the portal, and were followed by Jiro, Eurynomos, and Kseniya. Finally, Sevvie stepped through the portal and it closed.
“Well, next time, everyone, we’ll get to costuming. See you then!”
“Wow, the Kirov Stabber is so much more cooler than I even imagined!” said Morti. “I can’t believe they already knew my name.”
“I guess they’re a fan, Morti,” said Eurynomos.
“Do you really think so?”
Eurynomos smiled. “I think so.” It was true. Out of all of Eurynomos’s friends, Morti was one of Krenmyr’s favorites.
Sevvie had finished the spell, and a glowing portal had formed besides her. “Alright, everyone who needs to hitch a ride to the Maelys-Zone, the train is leaving now.”
“That’s a bit of a mixed metaphor, Sevvie,” said Dominik.
Sevvie shrugged. “Not really. You ride a train, don’t you?”
Dominik and Adaris stepped through the portal, and were followed by Jiro, Eurynomos, and Kseniya. Finally, Sevvie stepped through the portal and it closed.
Author's Note: This was the first thing I wrote after about a month. Ain't depression a hell of a drug? Is that still a thing people say? Seriously, is it?
This story was never completed but it doesn't really.... I don't know. This isn't a terrible ending?
Word Count: 2017 words
Date: March 16th, 2016
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