Illiam
“When I said that Lukas handles things differently than you, it wasn’t supposed to be anything against you.” repeated Illiam. “I was just… I don’t know, Xander. I’m sorry. But I was frustrated. I am frustrated.”
“I’m sorry that I frustrate you.” replied Xander. “And that is not even true about Lukas. But thank you for apologizing.”
Illiam took Xander’s hands in his own. “Frustrated is better than suicidal, depressed and wanting to destroy everything in the universe.”
“Much better?”
Illiam kissed him. “Much better.”
Xander was hot, like touching an open flame, like the inside of the sun. And when they touched Illiam’s brain reassured himself- he’s here, he’s here, he’s back, he’s here.
“What would you have done if the reverse had happened?” asked Illiam.
“I would never have been happy again, not without you.” replied Xander. “You know how lost I am without you. And if you were the one who had died, there would have been no salvation for me. Maëlys would remain an exarch, and you would be lost to me forever. We would have been lost, lost, so lost….”
“You can be happy without me, Xander.” said Illiam. “You were happy before we met.”
“I don’t ever want to leave you. I don’t ever want us to be apart. I want to be with you forever.”
Illiam steps back a little and looks Xander directly in his eyes. “Xander, we will be together forever, or until one of us dies and somehow Maëlys can’t bring us back, or the universe ends, and even then I’ll be with you in that-”
“We will overthrow Father and carve a kingdom from those nightmares.”
Illiam laughed a little, despite himself. He didn’t think that would be possible at all, but it was better to think about than the horrible doom that awaited after the end of the universe. “We can do anything, so long as we’re together.”
“Statistically, we have not-”
“Shut up.” said Illiam, kissing Xander again.
“I’m sorry that I frustrate you.” replied Xander. “And that is not even true about Lukas. But thank you for apologizing.”
Illiam took Xander’s hands in his own. “Frustrated is better than suicidal, depressed and wanting to destroy everything in the universe.”
“Much better?”
Illiam kissed him. “Much better.”
Xander was hot, like touching an open flame, like the inside of the sun. And when they touched Illiam’s brain reassured himself- he’s here, he’s here, he’s back, he’s here.
“What would you have done if the reverse had happened?” asked Illiam.
“I would never have been happy again, not without you.” replied Xander. “You know how lost I am without you. And if you were the one who had died, there would have been no salvation for me. Maëlys would remain an exarch, and you would be lost to me forever. We would have been lost, lost, so lost….”
“You can be happy without me, Xander.” said Illiam. “You were happy before we met.”
“I don’t ever want to leave you. I don’t ever want us to be apart. I want to be with you forever.”
Illiam steps back a little and looks Xander directly in his eyes. “Xander, we will be together forever, or until one of us dies and somehow Maëlys can’t bring us back, or the universe ends, and even then I’ll be with you in that-”
“We will overthrow Father and carve a kingdom from those nightmares.”
Illiam laughed a little, despite himself. He didn’t think that would be possible at all, but it was better to think about than the horrible doom that awaited after the end of the universe. “We can do anything, so long as we’re together.”
“Statistically, we have not-”
“Shut up.” said Illiam, kissing Xander again.
“Maybe it would be better if I said I wasn’t frustrated with you, Xander.” explained Illiam, later, when they were walking to meet the rest of Xander’s family. “More or less the situation and my inability to both rescue you from being killed and to really help you in this situation.”
“You have helped me.” replied Xander. “Illiam, you truly have.”
Illiam stopped walking and turned around. “Do you really think so?”
“Yes, I do.” Xander hesitated. “Recovery is slow but I think that is how those things are. I was there for…. the time is hard to describe. Centuries, maybe, it felt like sometimes.”
“I would be surprised that centuries later you would still care about me.” replied Illiam.
“Thinking about you was my greatest torment but it was the only thing that reminded me of who I was. He constantly tried to make me forget you, and yet there was always something in me that reminded me you were real.”
Xander had told Illiam this before, many times, but every time it… Illiam felt like it was wrong, but it comforted him. Even under the worst torture, Xander thought of him. He was what was most important to him.
It was true for Illiam, too. Xander and their children… the children had been the only thing in the world that had stopped him from joining Xander those horrible months he was gone.
“Do you remember what we talked about last night? Right before you went to sleep?”
“How could I not? We’ve spoken about it many times, but last night…”
Illiam held Xander’s hands in his own. “It’s not really the ideal place. We’re in the middle of a random hallway in my brother’s godzone. It’s not the ideal time. But let’s be real, we’re basically married already, so-”
“I will marry you, Illiam. Of course I will!” Xander wrapped his arms around Illiam, hugging him tightly.
“Well, that’s a complete 360 from before, and usually you wait for the person to ask you first.” Illiam smiled though, he was more amused than anything. “The kids’ll be happy, at least. And your parents.”
“And we will be happy! I don’t think it will change much, but…”
“It’ll just be nice to have it official, right?” said Illiam.
“You have helped me.” replied Xander. “Illiam, you truly have.”
Illiam stopped walking and turned around. “Do you really think so?”
“Yes, I do.” Xander hesitated. “Recovery is slow but I think that is how those things are. I was there for…. the time is hard to describe. Centuries, maybe, it felt like sometimes.”
“I would be surprised that centuries later you would still care about me.” replied Illiam.
“Thinking about you was my greatest torment but it was the only thing that reminded me of who I was. He constantly tried to make me forget you, and yet there was always something in me that reminded me you were real.”
Xander had told Illiam this before, many times, but every time it… Illiam felt like it was wrong, but it comforted him. Even under the worst torture, Xander thought of him. He was what was most important to him.
It was true for Illiam, too. Xander and their children… the children had been the only thing in the world that had stopped him from joining Xander those horrible months he was gone.
“Do you remember what we talked about last night? Right before you went to sleep?”
“How could I not? We’ve spoken about it many times, but last night…”
Illiam held Xander’s hands in his own. “It’s not really the ideal place. We’re in the middle of a random hallway in my brother’s godzone. It’s not the ideal time. But let’s be real, we’re basically married already, so-”
“I will marry you, Illiam. Of course I will!” Xander wrapped his arms around Illiam, hugging him tightly.
“Well, that’s a complete 360 from before, and usually you wait for the person to ask you first.” Illiam smiled though, he was more amused than anything. “The kids’ll be happy, at least. And your parents.”
“And we will be happy! I don’t think it will change much, but…”
“It’ll just be nice to have it official, right?” said Illiam.
“Two weddings to plan.” said Sebastian, absorbing this information. “Unless you have a double wedding.”
Daniys snorted. “There is absolutely no chance of that. No offense, Xander.”
“None taken.” replied Xander. “I was about to say the same thing. It will be nice to have a day for Illiam and I and the children.”
“Where are Sevvie and Jiro, anyway?” asked Von Wolff. “Oh, and Sasha?”
“They’re in the Imperial Palace, being tutored.” replied Xander. “And I thought it would be safer for them there.”
“Probably smart.” said Daniys. “Damn, I hope they get along with Brigitta’s kids. And I hope Bara gets along with them, too.”
“I dunno, do they like geese?” asked Cassandra, laughing slightly.
“Yeah, that might be a problem.”
“Bara and Sevvie get along well.” said Xander proudly. “Though she has been bitten by one of the geese.”
“We all have.” said Cassandra.
Daniys snorted. “There is absolutely no chance of that. No offense, Xander.”
“None taken.” replied Xander. “I was about to say the same thing. It will be nice to have a day for Illiam and I and the children.”
“Where are Sevvie and Jiro, anyway?” asked Von Wolff. “Oh, and Sasha?”
“They’re in the Imperial Palace, being tutored.” replied Xander. “And I thought it would be safer for them there.”
“Probably smart.” said Daniys. “Damn, I hope they get along with Brigitta’s kids. And I hope Bara gets along with them, too.”
“I dunno, do they like geese?” asked Cassandra, laughing slightly.
“Yeah, that might be a problem.”
“Bara and Sevvie get along well.” said Xander proudly. “Though she has been bitten by one of the geese.”
“We all have.” said Cassandra.
“I can’t believe I’m not the first person you told.” said Elian. He didn’t look upset though, which was relieving for Illiam. “Can I come to the wedding?”
“Of course you’re coming.” sighed Illiam. “You can even be my best man, if you want. Now, where is Lukas?”
“Why?”
“His family wants to find him.” replied Illiam. “Some big family bonding moment or who knows what with them.” Illiam shook his head. “I’m angry at Lukas, and I’m not even related to him. I wouldn't even want to talk to them if I were him.”
Elian smiled at his brother. “Well, I forgave you pretty easy, I didn’t I?”
“Of course you’re coming.” sighed Illiam. “You can even be my best man, if you want. Now, where is Lukas?”
“Why?”
“His family wants to find him.” replied Illiam. “Some big family bonding moment or who knows what with them.” Illiam shook his head. “I’m angry at Lukas, and I’m not even related to him. I wouldn't even want to talk to them if I were him.”
Elian smiled at his brother. “Well, I forgave you pretty easy, I didn’t I?”
Author's Note: Tragically, the last part of this story ever published until I dissapeared into a void of Hyperion and Ziv.
Word Count: 967 words
Date: July 23rd. The calm before the stor[y/m]
No comments:
Post a Comment