Life of Cats: June 27th, 201X
Today’s Events:
A gathering of the Catlords. Wizened Catlords from all over the Catzones have gathered to the Catcouncil. These Catlords decide the fates of all lesser cats.
Catlords are chosen from the ranks of elder cats. Once cats attain a certain age, they may be promoted to the rank of greater cat, and from the most important greater cats come the elder cats. The Catcouncil gathers each solstice to make their Judgements. During these Judgements elder cats may be brought to the council to be given the rank of Catlord if there is a space on the Catcouncil due to the death of a Catlord.
However, like all elder cats, the Catlords possess many powers. Among them is flight, telecatnesis, telepathy, advanced Meowing, and Immortality. Catlords have eighteen lives rather than nine, and may also shoot lazer beams from their eyes if given Proper permission.
Therefore there are few ranks upon the Catcouncil.
The Catcouncil sat in state silently before the Meowing begun. Waves of Meows shook from Cat to Cat as they begun to tap their cute little feet. Finally, the greatest cat of them all, Supreme Catlord Catimus, let out a great Meow and all lesser cats fell silent.
A gathering of the Catlords. Wizened Catlords from all over the Catzones have gathered to the Catcouncil. These Catlords decide the fates of all lesser cats.
Catlords are chosen from the ranks of elder cats. Once cats attain a certain age, they may be promoted to the rank of greater cat, and from the most important greater cats come the elder cats. The Catcouncil gathers each solstice to make their Judgements. During these Judgements elder cats may be brought to the council to be given the rank of Catlord if there is a space on the Catcouncil due to the death of a Catlord.
However, like all elder cats, the Catlords possess many powers. Among them is flight, telecatnesis, telepathy, advanced Meowing, and Immortality. Catlords have eighteen lives rather than nine, and may also shoot lazer beams from their eyes if given Proper permission.
Therefore there are few ranks upon the Catcouncil.
The Catcouncil sat in state silently before the Meowing begun. Waves of Meows shook from Cat to Cat as they begun to tap their cute little feet. Finally, the greatest cat of them all, Supreme Catlord Catimus, let out a great Meow and all lesser cats fell silent.
The Catlords voted on several things today.
-Issue 1: All Catlords will be given extra tuna daily and all lesser and greater cats will be given extra tuna weekly. Elder cats will be given tuna every day that has the letter T in it.
-Issue 2: All Cats, great and small, shall be given extra pets but NO BELLY RUBS!
-Issue 3: The Catnip ration will be increased to twenty grams.
-Issue 4: Louise shall be put to death.
-Issue 1: All Catlords will be given extra tuna daily and all lesser and greater cats will be given extra tuna weekly. Elder cats will be given tuna every day that has the letter T in it.
-Issue 2: All Cats, great and small, shall be given extra pets but NO BELLY RUBS!
-Issue 3: The Catnip ration will be increased to twenty grams.
-Issue 4: Louise shall be put to death.
Reactions from Our Cats:
Johnathon Cat: “I for one approve of our Catcouncil’s decisions. All hail the Catcouncil!”
Candice: “It’s sad to hear that Louise will soon be going, but hey, extra tuna!”
Marissa: “It has always been my dream to become a Catlord. But as I’m only a lesser cat and have two lives left, it seems that dream will never come true.”
Thelma: “I too am an elder cat, but it is a secret. Once I coerced Partrick into escaping his cage. The Tall One caught him.”
Timothy: “The Tall One shall not abide these new Cat Laws. I said it before the Cat Council, and I say it now- We must go to war with the Tall One! I vote that all spayed and neutered cats be drafted into the Cat Council’s mighty army and we shall fight the Tall One.”
Matilda: “I do not listen to the rulemakings of the false Catcouncil. In my day, we were ruled by the Sublime Feline Emperor and she wisely made decisions from her cat throne (that’s a throne made of smaller cats for you kittens too young to remember the Sublime Feline Emperor and her majestic throne, which my aunt used to be part of ). The Catcouncil is a wicked lot and soon the great god Bathalzara shall smite them down.”
Kate Kat: “I LOVE CATNIP!”
Partrick: "They did not vote on my problem, the issuing of orbs to all cats. I do not want an orb. Please have this orb taken from me. I do not enjoy and do not want it."
Louise: “NO! NO! This can’t be happening! I wasn’t the assassin! Please! You have to believe me!”
Johnathon Cat: “I for one approve of our Catcouncil’s decisions. All hail the Catcouncil!”
Candice: “It’s sad to hear that Louise will soon be going, but hey, extra tuna!”
Marissa: “It has always been my dream to become a Catlord. But as I’m only a lesser cat and have two lives left, it seems that dream will never come true.”
Thelma: “I too am an elder cat, but it is a secret. Once I coerced Partrick into escaping his cage. The Tall One caught him.”
Timothy: “The Tall One shall not abide these new Cat Laws. I said it before the Cat Council, and I say it now- We must go to war with the Tall One! I vote that all spayed and neutered cats be drafted into the Cat Council’s mighty army and we shall fight the Tall One.”
Matilda: “I do not listen to the rulemakings of the false Catcouncil. In my day, we were ruled by the Sublime Feline Emperor and she wisely made decisions from her cat throne (that’s a throne made of smaller cats for you kittens too young to remember the Sublime Feline Emperor and her majestic throne, which my aunt used to be part of ). The Catcouncil is a wicked lot and soon the great god Bathalzara shall smite them down.”
Kate Kat: “I LOVE CATNIP!”
Partrick: "They did not vote on my problem, the issuing of orbs to all cats. I do not want an orb. Please have this orb taken from me. I do not enjoy and do not want it."
Louise: “NO! NO! This can’t be happening! I wasn’t the assassin! Please! You have to believe me!”
(Chrysal’s Comments)
Wow, Monroe! I love this post! What wonderful worldbuilding! I just have a few minor comments that I think will improve the article.
First, Louise is not being executed. She’s just being transferred to another facility. Perhaps in the story Louise can retire to a sunny vacation home in Florida, or maybe the Catlords awarded her ten million dollars for her contributions to Catkind and she finally decides to go to Disney World.
Second, I don’t like all the comments about the Tall One. You know that I’m not comfortable being in your story, Monroe.
Third, If a bunch of cats were put into a throne many of them would suffocate.
Four, Here at Happy Valley Animal Sanctuary we encourage spaying and neutering your pets.
Other than that, what a great article! Make the changes I suggested, and you can have it up later today!
Wow, Monroe! I love this post! What wonderful worldbuilding! I just have a few minor comments that I think will improve the article.
First, Louise is not being executed. She’s just being transferred to another facility. Perhaps in the story Louise can retire to a sunny vacation home in Florida, or maybe the Catlords awarded her ten million dollars for her contributions to Catkind and she finally decides to go to Disney World.
Second, I don’t like all the comments about the Tall One. You know that I’m not comfortable being in your story, Monroe.
Third, If a bunch of cats were put into a throne many of them would suffocate.
Four, Here at Happy Valley Animal Sanctuary we encourage spaying and neutering your pets.
Other than that, what a great article! Make the changes I suggested, and you can have it up later today!
Author's Notes: I love how Chrysal comments on how the cat throne wouldn't work, but didn't comment on telecatnesis.
Word Count: 723 Words
Date: November 14th, 2015
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