why. why am i trapped in this xilliam hell
by cecil n maye
by cecil n maye
Illiam screamed as his spaceship came hurtling towards the ground of this unfamiliar planet. Screwing his eyes shut, pulling in his legs, clasping his arms around them, Illiam’s thoughts while approaching imminent death were of Elian. He’d fled to escape certain death. But now here he was, falling into the arms of death once more.
Suddenly, his movement stopped. Opening his eyes. he saw some sort of red energy around his ship. It was completely enveloping the ship, gently lowering it to the ground before dropping it once it was a few feet above the ground. The whole craft shook and Illiam felt a bit bruised, then suddenly an enormous hand reached out ripped open the craft.
Illiam gasped for air for the slightest moment, before realizing he could breathe this air perfectly well. Uncertain to why this was (this was an alien planet after all), Illiam realized that he had bigger things to worry about. Specifically, the enormous creature that had torn his craft open. Numanoid, with massive horns and hooves, the creature had dark red skin like fire and was clad completely in a strange black garment. He spoke some garbled language to a similar but far smaller creature standing next to him, nearly identical except for facial features and the fact the smaller had a long, spiked tail.
Tapping into the universal knowledge, Illiam’s brain adjusted itself to temporarily understand the language of these creatures. “-yeah, let’s take it to the boss. He’ll know what to do with it.”
“Wait. Stop!” said Illiam as the large creature roughly grabbed him. He struggled to escape as he was taken by the creature to a large building where a purple version of the enormous creature, but with shocking white hair, sat watching various glassy balls where images of things appeared. They were like televisions but spherical, thought Illiam.
“We found this one in some sort of spaceship.” said the large one. “Probably a spy.”
“Then he’s probably transmitting back to his masters right now, Kak!” said the purple one. “You don’t have to ask me for permission to do everything.”
“Right then.” The red creature let go of Illiam momentarily, then reached for his neck. But before he could grab him, Illiam ducked and ran.
This planet was absolutely terrifying. The creatures that inhabited it were bizarre and grotesque. As Illiam ran through the streets, he realized that he would never be able to hide if all the creatures here all looked like the three he’d seen. What in the world was he going to do?
For a moment, he hesitated, then realized he had to survive at any cost. Willing himself to become invisible, Illiam vanished and waited.
Suddenly, his movement stopped. Opening his eyes. he saw some sort of red energy around his ship. It was completely enveloping the ship, gently lowering it to the ground before dropping it once it was a few feet above the ground. The whole craft shook and Illiam felt a bit bruised, then suddenly an enormous hand reached out ripped open the craft.
Illiam gasped for air for the slightest moment, before realizing he could breathe this air perfectly well. Uncertain to why this was (this was an alien planet after all), Illiam realized that he had bigger things to worry about. Specifically, the enormous creature that had torn his craft open. Numanoid, with massive horns and hooves, the creature had dark red skin like fire and was clad completely in a strange black garment. He spoke some garbled language to a similar but far smaller creature standing next to him, nearly identical except for facial features and the fact the smaller had a long, spiked tail.
Tapping into the universal knowledge, Illiam’s brain adjusted itself to temporarily understand the language of these creatures. “-yeah, let’s take it to the boss. He’ll know what to do with it.”
“Wait. Stop!” said Illiam as the large creature roughly grabbed him. He struggled to escape as he was taken by the creature to a large building where a purple version of the enormous creature, but with shocking white hair, sat watching various glassy balls where images of things appeared. They were like televisions but spherical, thought Illiam.
“We found this one in some sort of spaceship.” said the large one. “Probably a spy.”
“Then he’s probably transmitting back to his masters right now, Kak!” said the purple one. “You don’t have to ask me for permission to do everything.”
“Right then.” The red creature let go of Illiam momentarily, then reached for his neck. But before he could grab him, Illiam ducked and ran.
This planet was absolutely terrifying. The creatures that inhabited it were bizarre and grotesque. As Illiam ran through the streets, he realized that he would never be able to hide if all the creatures here all looked like the three he’d seen. What in the world was he going to do?
For a moment, he hesitated, then realized he had to survive at any cost. Willing himself to become invisible, Illiam vanished and waited.
Illiam hid for a while, wandering through the streets of the city. There were many people there. Many of them were like the creatures he’d seen before, while others were like hybrids of them and regular numen. He saw these numen-hybrid things, walking down the street, chatting with each other, showing a level of happiness Illiam would never show in public. Illiam was at first shocked, almost embarrassed by it, but he reminded himself that these creatures weren’t numen. They were aliens, and he was on an alien planet.
Finally, Illiam got up the nerve to go back and examine his craft. Maybe he could salvage it. Maybe leaving Terra had been a bad idea. Maybe he would go back…
The spacecraft was placed in an area that had been surrounded by sticks that were propping up bright red streamers of some sort. The creatures from before were there, speaking to a floating hybrid. He was exceptionally handsome, even if a hybrid- proud, curling horns emerged from his head, and a halo of flames hovered above that head. His face was nearly expressionless, but it was a very nice face. Illiam had never seen eyes like those eyes before. It was almost like they weren’t eyes…
Suddenly, the non-eyes fixed onto him. The hybrid sighed. “Didn’t you even bother casting a true seeing spell?”
Illiam reflexively lashed out against the hybrid, attempting to dominate his mind, but as he did, that halo of fire blazed angrily and Illiam’s hands burned. The creature crossed to where Illiam was in an instant, reaching out for him, and Illiam only barely jumped out of the way, twisting around to face the hybrid again.
And then Illiam split himself. He’d only tried this power before once or twice, but he was delighted to see it worked perfectly. The real Illiam ran while the fake one attacked the hybrid again, the real Illiam using all his power to run as fast as he possibly could.
And he smacked into the hybrid again! How in the world was he..? “I appreciate your attempts to struggle against me. But you aren’t going to escape.”
“Screw you.” spat Illiam in Low Terran before twisting another way, trying to run at a different direction, showing up again.
“Rude.” replied the hybrid as he appeared in front of Illiam again. How the hell did he know what Illiam had said? Illiam swore mentally, then stopped running. It seemed like he was going to die. But he was going to do everything he could to try to harm this… this thing!
Gathering up all the energy in his body, Illiam felt it pulse through him before he leaped at his opponent again. He barely blinked this time, and grabbed Illiam by an arm. “Impressive. You still continue to fight against me, still struggle against a god.”
“A what?” asked Illiam. God was a word that had no translation in his mind, was it what these strange hybrids were called?
The hybrid replied with a soft laugh. “Don’t try to play stupid. You know who I am.”
“I honestly don’t.” said Illiam. “I didn’t mean to crash on this planet. I have no idea what’s going on, and let go of me!” Illiam beat against the hybrid’s arm, and as he did so, he noticed it was covered in designs. Flames, intricate and strange faces, strange simple round symbols and daggers. Illiam found it most fascinating that they didn’t stain Illiam’s hands as he beat the arm, nor were they altered in any way.
“Will you allow me to probe your mind to see if that is true?” asked the hybrid.
“To prove my innocence? Yes.”
The hybrid closed his eyes and touched Illiam’s forehead with a single finger. After a moment, he pulled it away, a look of shock on his face. “You’re really not from around here…”
“No, I’m not.” said Illiam. “And I don’t see why that means I have to die.” Quite honestly, it was what numens would do if they found an alien on their planet, but Illiam had to hope these strange creatures were more merciful than the numen.
“You were going to just kill him without telling me?” spat the hybrid. Oh, the creatures from before had come over here now.
“We thought he was an Uldoki spy.” said the large red one.
“Does that look anything like an Uldoki spy plane?” questioned the hybrid. “Idiot! Idiot! All three of you will be spending the next month in Verochanza for your mistake! Guards! Take them away!”
Hybrids dressed in beautiful red and black uniforms depicting the strange round symbols and daggers and carrying polearms of some sort approached the creatures and led them away. “Now.” said the hybrid. “Let me introduce myself properly.”
And then, suddenly, they were in a room decorated in all red, with a large window looking out onto a beautifully manicured garden. The floor was covered in pillows of various colors and sizes- red, gold, black, and patterned, large and small. “I am Emperor Xander Nesline, the God of Evil. I am ruler of the planet we currently stand upon- the planet of Naven.”
“What, you govern it all by yourself?” asked Illiam, sitting on a stack of pillows. “That sounds challenging.”
“Well, I am a god.” said Xander. “And I do have people who aid me in governing it. The Archdevils and my Archangels.”
Illiam nodded. “And you’re… what sort of species are you?”
Xander blinked. “Well, I’m a tiefling, of course. Don’t tell me that where you come from you’ve never heard of devils.”
“Nope.” replied Illiam.
“Well, a tiefling is the descendant of a devil, which are creatures like those fools who tried to kill you, and a mortal creature. My grandfather, Alexil, was a Senator of Infernus, and my grandmother was a human woman, and so my father, Sebastian, was half human, half devil. My sire is fully human. Therefore, I am a tiefling, and one that is one fourth devil, three fourths human.”
Illiam nodded, trying to imagine someone with one of the horrible creatures he’d seen before. “Alright. And now, what’s a human.”
“You must be joking.” replied Xander.
Illiam shook his head. “I’m really not.”
“You’re a human!’ said Xander.
“I’m a numan.” corrected Illiam.
“You are perfectly identical in every single way to a human.” Xander picked up a pillow and buried his face into it. “Alright. A human is identical to what you are. To imagine a human, simply imagine yourself.”
Illiam was pretty sure he’d see a human and think they were different to numen in every single way. Xander had drawn the pillow from his face and now looked at Illiam. “Illiam, you must not tell anyone where you’re truly from. There would be panic among my people if they knew of your true origin. Or, more likely, they’d demand I work on killing them all.”
“How much did you learn about me when you looked inside my mind?” asked Illiam. Obviously he had learned his name, but what else?
“Not very much.” replied Xander. “Your mind is well-protected. I saw visions of many people like you on the streets of your cities. A world with only humans. Before you told me you had never heard of devils, I thought it to be tucked in some distant part of this close world none had ever seen. But perhaps… you are from the forbidden side of the galaxy.” He shook his head, displeased. “You may stay here in my palace as my honored guest. A room will be made up for you. And all I ask in return is that you accompany me to see parts of my empire, and that you tell me of your civilization.”
Illiam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You want me to stay?! In your house!?” How in the world could… could this man be saying this?!
“Is it forbidden among your numen to do so?” asked Xander. “I assure you, among us it’s a great honor to stay in the palace of an emperor. Your very need will be attended to. You will have your own room in the guest wing-”
“Oh, you have an area just for guests? Like a hotel?”
“Yes.” said Xander. “Kind of. I suppose. Anyway, I’ll have someone bring you there momentarily. Tell them what you’d like to eat. You can sit there, relax. Wipe the blood off your face. Take a bath. And I would like to see you again in the morning.”
“Alright, Xander.” replied Illiam. “I’ll see you then.”
Xander looked as if he was going to say something, but he paused before he replied.
Finally, Illiam got up the nerve to go back and examine his craft. Maybe he could salvage it. Maybe leaving Terra had been a bad idea. Maybe he would go back…
The spacecraft was placed in an area that had been surrounded by sticks that were propping up bright red streamers of some sort. The creatures from before were there, speaking to a floating hybrid. He was exceptionally handsome, even if a hybrid- proud, curling horns emerged from his head, and a halo of flames hovered above that head. His face was nearly expressionless, but it was a very nice face. Illiam had never seen eyes like those eyes before. It was almost like they weren’t eyes…
Suddenly, the non-eyes fixed onto him. The hybrid sighed. “Didn’t you even bother casting a true seeing spell?”
Illiam reflexively lashed out against the hybrid, attempting to dominate his mind, but as he did, that halo of fire blazed angrily and Illiam’s hands burned. The creature crossed to where Illiam was in an instant, reaching out for him, and Illiam only barely jumped out of the way, twisting around to face the hybrid again.
And then Illiam split himself. He’d only tried this power before once or twice, but he was delighted to see it worked perfectly. The real Illiam ran while the fake one attacked the hybrid again, the real Illiam using all his power to run as fast as he possibly could.
And he smacked into the hybrid again! How in the world was he..? “I appreciate your attempts to struggle against me. But you aren’t going to escape.”
“Screw you.” spat Illiam in Low Terran before twisting another way, trying to run at a different direction, showing up again.
“Rude.” replied the hybrid as he appeared in front of Illiam again. How the hell did he know what Illiam had said? Illiam swore mentally, then stopped running. It seemed like he was going to die. But he was going to do everything he could to try to harm this… this thing!
Gathering up all the energy in his body, Illiam felt it pulse through him before he leaped at his opponent again. He barely blinked this time, and grabbed Illiam by an arm. “Impressive. You still continue to fight against me, still struggle against a god.”
“A what?” asked Illiam. God was a word that had no translation in his mind, was it what these strange hybrids were called?
The hybrid replied with a soft laugh. “Don’t try to play stupid. You know who I am.”
“I honestly don’t.” said Illiam. “I didn’t mean to crash on this planet. I have no idea what’s going on, and let go of me!” Illiam beat against the hybrid’s arm, and as he did so, he noticed it was covered in designs. Flames, intricate and strange faces, strange simple round symbols and daggers. Illiam found it most fascinating that they didn’t stain Illiam’s hands as he beat the arm, nor were they altered in any way.
“Will you allow me to probe your mind to see if that is true?” asked the hybrid.
“To prove my innocence? Yes.”
The hybrid closed his eyes and touched Illiam’s forehead with a single finger. After a moment, he pulled it away, a look of shock on his face. “You’re really not from around here…”
“No, I’m not.” said Illiam. “And I don’t see why that means I have to die.” Quite honestly, it was what numens would do if they found an alien on their planet, but Illiam had to hope these strange creatures were more merciful than the numen.
“You were going to just kill him without telling me?” spat the hybrid. Oh, the creatures from before had come over here now.
“We thought he was an Uldoki spy.” said the large red one.
“Does that look anything like an Uldoki spy plane?” questioned the hybrid. “Idiot! Idiot! All three of you will be spending the next month in Verochanza for your mistake! Guards! Take them away!”
Hybrids dressed in beautiful red and black uniforms depicting the strange round symbols and daggers and carrying polearms of some sort approached the creatures and led them away. “Now.” said the hybrid. “Let me introduce myself properly.”
And then, suddenly, they were in a room decorated in all red, with a large window looking out onto a beautifully manicured garden. The floor was covered in pillows of various colors and sizes- red, gold, black, and patterned, large and small. “I am Emperor Xander Nesline, the God of Evil. I am ruler of the planet we currently stand upon- the planet of Naven.”
“What, you govern it all by yourself?” asked Illiam, sitting on a stack of pillows. “That sounds challenging.”
“Well, I am a god.” said Xander. “And I do have people who aid me in governing it. The Archdevils and my Archangels.”
Illiam nodded. “And you’re… what sort of species are you?”
Xander blinked. “Well, I’m a tiefling, of course. Don’t tell me that where you come from you’ve never heard of devils.”
“Nope.” replied Illiam.
“Well, a tiefling is the descendant of a devil, which are creatures like those fools who tried to kill you, and a mortal creature. My grandfather, Alexil, was a Senator of Infernus, and my grandmother was a human woman, and so my father, Sebastian, was half human, half devil. My sire is fully human. Therefore, I am a tiefling, and one that is one fourth devil, three fourths human.”
Illiam nodded, trying to imagine someone with one of the horrible creatures he’d seen before. “Alright. And now, what’s a human.”
“You must be joking.” replied Xander.
Illiam shook his head. “I’m really not.”
“You’re a human!’ said Xander.
“I’m a numan.” corrected Illiam.
“You are perfectly identical in every single way to a human.” Xander picked up a pillow and buried his face into it. “Alright. A human is identical to what you are. To imagine a human, simply imagine yourself.”
Illiam was pretty sure he’d see a human and think they were different to numen in every single way. Xander had drawn the pillow from his face and now looked at Illiam. “Illiam, you must not tell anyone where you’re truly from. There would be panic among my people if they knew of your true origin. Or, more likely, they’d demand I work on killing them all.”
“How much did you learn about me when you looked inside my mind?” asked Illiam. Obviously he had learned his name, but what else?
“Not very much.” replied Xander. “Your mind is well-protected. I saw visions of many people like you on the streets of your cities. A world with only humans. Before you told me you had never heard of devils, I thought it to be tucked in some distant part of this close world none had ever seen. But perhaps… you are from the forbidden side of the galaxy.” He shook his head, displeased. “You may stay here in my palace as my honored guest. A room will be made up for you. And all I ask in return is that you accompany me to see parts of my empire, and that you tell me of your civilization.”
Illiam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You want me to stay?! In your house!?” How in the world could… could this man be saying this?!
“Is it forbidden among your numen to do so?” asked Xander. “I assure you, among us it’s a great honor to stay in the palace of an emperor. Your very need will be attended to. You will have your own room in the guest wing-”
“Oh, you have an area just for guests? Like a hotel?”
“Yes.” said Xander. “Kind of. I suppose. Anyway, I’ll have someone bring you there momentarily. Tell them what you’d like to eat. You can sit there, relax. Wipe the blood off your face. Take a bath. And I would like to see you again in the morning.”
“Alright, Xander.” replied Illiam. “I’ll see you then.”
Xander looked as if he was going to say something, but he paused before he replied.
Illiam paused before reaching down into the basin of water and gently washing the blood off his face. Nobody else on this planet seemed to wear it, so it was most likely best that he not as well. His own numan face stared back at him, cleaner than it had been in months, and Illiam splashed more water on it before undressing.
He’d been instructed that to summon the water in the tub he had only to tap the crystals. The blue crystal would make water come out, the red crystal would make it hotter,and the white crystal would make it colder. He touched the blue crystal and water begun to appear in the tub, and he quickly tapped the red crystal to make it hot.
And then Illiam finally entered the bath.
Washing himself, he wondered how long it would be until Xander realized all the things wrong with Illiam. When he found out, would he banish him? Send him to that Verochanza place he mentioned? Or just make it quick, and crush his skull under one enormous hoof?
The worst day of Illiam’s life was his eighteenth birthday, when he had found that the local Council had judged both him and his brother and determined they were both defective on multiple accounts. That the Ashbur line would simply end there, pruned before its twisting root contaminated anyone else. He had worked his entire life to be worth something, but when he died, he knew he would be only remembered for his mistakes.
He thought of where Elian was now. Probably killed by one of those damned Immortals.
And the thought of that- of his brother killed, his jugular ripped by their teeth or trampled by thousands of them- made Illiam cry. The tears begun flowing, and wouldn’t stop. Maybe they never would.
He’d been instructed that to summon the water in the tub he had only to tap the crystals. The blue crystal would make water come out, the red crystal would make it hotter,and the white crystal would make it colder. He touched the blue crystal and water begun to appear in the tub, and he quickly tapped the red crystal to make it hot.
And then Illiam finally entered the bath.
Washing himself, he wondered how long it would be until Xander realized all the things wrong with Illiam. When he found out, would he banish him? Send him to that Verochanza place he mentioned? Or just make it quick, and crush his skull under one enormous hoof?
The worst day of Illiam’s life was his eighteenth birthday, when he had found that the local Council had judged both him and his brother and determined they were both defective on multiple accounts. That the Ashbur line would simply end there, pruned before its twisting root contaminated anyone else. He had worked his entire life to be worth something, but when he died, he knew he would be only remembered for his mistakes.
He thought of where Elian was now. Probably killed by one of those damned Immortals.
And the thought of that- of his brother killed, his jugular ripped by their teeth or trampled by thousands of them- made Illiam cry. The tears begun flowing, and wouldn’t stop. Maybe they never would.
Xander was dressed in a far shorter outfit today, one that ended at his knees with sleeves that barely went past his shoulders. Illiam tried his very best not to find him attractive. He wasn’t even a numan, and he had horns, and hooves, and-
“Your marks!” commented Illiam, surprised. “They’re still there.”
Xander looked at Illiam curiously before looking down to his arms. “Oh! My tattoos. Yes, they tend to do that. Don’t tell me people don’t tattoo themselves where you come from.”
“What are they?” asked Illiam. “It looks like ink, but…”
“It is ink.” replied Xander. “Ink that is placed on the lowest level of your skin. So I will have them all my life.” The tiefling then flashed a smile. “Not that I can’t change them, being a god and all…”
The markings then begun to dance, the flames twisting and burning as if Xander’s arms were really on fire, lighting up in all the colors of flame. The ones that nearly reached his neck danced up it now, the ink morphing until Xander suddenly relaxed and they relaxed too, resting back to their normal space. “Do you find it impressive? Would you like your own?”
“I don’t understand them.” said Illiam. “Why would you… why would you do that to your skin?”
“Well, I enjoy the way they look!” replied Xander, seeming a bit offended. “And, to be honest, I enjoy the sensation of them being created.”
“No, it’s just confusing.” said Illiam. “My civilization is very concerned with the way the body is treated. They would consider any sort of harm to it…”
Xander chuckled slightly. “Well then. I’m glad I didn’t wear my piercings today. You would have fainted dead away.”
“Your what?”
“Your marks!” commented Illiam, surprised. “They’re still there.”
Xander looked at Illiam curiously before looking down to his arms. “Oh! My tattoos. Yes, they tend to do that. Don’t tell me people don’t tattoo themselves where you come from.”
“What are they?” asked Illiam. “It looks like ink, but…”
“It is ink.” replied Xander. “Ink that is placed on the lowest level of your skin. So I will have them all my life.” The tiefling then flashed a smile. “Not that I can’t change them, being a god and all…”
The markings then begun to dance, the flames twisting and burning as if Xander’s arms were really on fire, lighting up in all the colors of flame. The ones that nearly reached his neck danced up it now, the ink morphing until Xander suddenly relaxed and they relaxed too, resting back to their normal space. “Do you find it impressive? Would you like your own?”
“I don’t understand them.” said Illiam. “Why would you… why would you do that to your skin?”
“Well, I enjoy the way they look!” replied Xander, seeming a bit offended. “And, to be honest, I enjoy the sensation of them being created.”
“No, it’s just confusing.” said Illiam. “My civilization is very concerned with the way the body is treated. They would consider any sort of harm to it…”
Xander chuckled slightly. “Well then. I’m glad I didn’t wear my piercings today. You would have fainted dead away.”
“Your what?”
The idea of piercings was even more baffling. Hanging metal on your body? Admittedly, Xander was already kind of strange, some sort of baffling hybrid with strange horns and those inhuman eyes. Illiam had to admit they had their own appeal.
“Anyway, I thought I would take you around my palace. Show you all the things. If that’s alright.”
Illiam had to remember that Xander was a wierd alien and had no problem living with dozens of people. “Yes. That’s fine.” said Illiam. “I’d like to see around.”
Xander’s palace was huge. Certainly larger than any house Illiam had ever seen. Countless endless rooms. They were almost all very beautiful. Halfway through, they stopped for lunch.
“I hope you like raw meat.”
Illiam laughed. “Of course I do!”
Xander visibly brightened. “Wonderful! Illiam, you and I are kindred spirits. Come, we shall have our meat.”
Illiam ate whatever the meat was, along with a small amount of fruit and strange cheese. It was tasty but bafflling. “What is this, Xander?”
“It’s Kibbeh nayyeh.” replied Xander. “Minced lamb, with-”
“What’s lamb?”
‘Well, they’re very small sheep.” said Xander, indicating a size with his hand, presumably the size of lambs. “You know. The babies.”
“Oh.” said Illiam. “Well, maybe you could show me a picture of them?”
“I will show you them myself. Once we are done eating.”
“Anyway, I thought I would take you around my palace. Show you all the things. If that’s alright.”
Illiam had to remember that Xander was a wierd alien and had no problem living with dozens of people. “Yes. That’s fine.” said Illiam. “I’d like to see around.”
Xander’s palace was huge. Certainly larger than any house Illiam had ever seen. Countless endless rooms. They were almost all very beautiful. Halfway through, they stopped for lunch.
“I hope you like raw meat.”
Illiam laughed. “Of course I do!”
Xander visibly brightened. “Wonderful! Illiam, you and I are kindred spirits. Come, we shall have our meat.”
Illiam ate whatever the meat was, along with a small amount of fruit and strange cheese. It was tasty but bafflling. “What is this, Xander?”
“It’s Kibbeh nayyeh.” replied Xander. “Minced lamb, with-”
“What’s lamb?”
‘Well, they’re very small sheep.” said Xander, indicating a size with his hand, presumably the size of lambs. “You know. The babies.”
“Oh.” said Illiam. “Well, maybe you could show me a picture of them?”
“I will show you them myself. Once we are done eating.”
The sheep were large, fluffy creatures with horns like Xander’s, and the lambs were very similar to them, but much smaller. “These are my sheep.” explained Xander. “I like them. They are very soothing creatures. Would you like to pet one?”
“Pet one?” asked Illiam.
Xander gently grabbed Illiam’s hand and stroked it across the sheep. To Illiam’s surprise, the sheep’s fluff felt nice and gentle against his hand. The sheep didn’t seem to care, and Illiam began to pet it some more. “This is an ewe, or female sheep. The little ones around her are her lambs.” He pointed with his other hand to the largest sheep, with the most prominent horns. “That is the ram. He is the father of the small sheep.”
Illiam nodded, and Xander gripped Illiam’s hand slightly tighter. “Well, it seems obvious in retrospect they wouldn’t have such animals on your home planet.”
“They’re appealing.” replied Illiam. “Soft. I don’t know.”
“The word you may be searching for is cute?” offered Xander.
Illiam’s psychic power translated the word, but there was no direct equivalent in his language. “Cute…” said Illiam, rolling the word around his mouth.
He turned around to see how close Xander was to him. He was very. Illiam stepped away and Xander let go of his hand. “Anyway, we should see the cathedral next!” said Xander. “You will like it.”
“Pet one?” asked Illiam.
Xander gently grabbed Illiam’s hand and stroked it across the sheep. To Illiam’s surprise, the sheep’s fluff felt nice and gentle against his hand. The sheep didn’t seem to care, and Illiam began to pet it some more. “This is an ewe, or female sheep. The little ones around her are her lambs.” He pointed with his other hand to the largest sheep, with the most prominent horns. “That is the ram. He is the father of the small sheep.”
Illiam nodded, and Xander gripped Illiam’s hand slightly tighter. “Well, it seems obvious in retrospect they wouldn’t have such animals on your home planet.”
“They’re appealing.” replied Illiam. “Soft. I don’t know.”
“The word you may be searching for is cute?” offered Xander.
Illiam’s psychic power translated the word, but there was no direct equivalent in his language. “Cute…” said Illiam, rolling the word around his mouth.
He turned around to see how close Xander was to him. He was very. Illiam stepped away and Xander let go of his hand. “Anyway, we should see the cathedral next!” said Xander. “You will like it.”
The Cathedral turned out to be a large part of the palace, where all sorts of creatures were gathered, sitting on benches, kneeling before a large table, or reading books quietly. Illiam approached the table and the people stared at Xander or bowed before him.
On top of the table was a very large statue of Xander, one made of precious metals and stones. Illiam reached out to touch it and he heard the sound of gasping from the crowd. He drew his hand back, looking at Xander.
“The statue is of you.”
“Of course it is.” replied Xander in almost a whisper. “They worship me, after all.”
These people worshipped Xander?!
It was at this moment Illiam had to run. He dashed out of the cathedral, then looked all around him. Walls surrounded the palace, but he could climb them. As he ran towards the walls, Xander ran towards him, and Illiam tried to put on speed to escape him this time. But Xander was in front of him again, and no matter which way he turned, Xander was there. Illiam collapsed, almost about to cry. No. No.
“Illiam. What has upset you? I told you previously I was a god.”
“I don’t know what a god is!” yelled Illiam.
“Oh.” said Xander, kneeling so he would be on Illiam’s level. “Well, a god is a very powerful person who is worshipped by their people. I am one of the newest gods, but I am very powerful for my age.”
“So you’ll admit it! You’ll admit you’re controlling their minds! And I bet you’re trying to control me too!”
Xander blinked. “Illiam, you are confused. I don’t force anyone to worship me. Why would I need to control their minds? They worship me because I am wonderful and powerful and their emperor. Don’t you have people like that? People who are wonderful and powerful and who you respect?”
“No.” replied Illiam. “It would damage the integrity of the numen species for one person to be more important than anyone else.” Well, anyone who wasn’t defective, at least.
“Hm.” said Xander. “Well, here in this part of the galaxy we have many people who are wonderful and powerful and who are respected. Like, for example, me.”
Illiam shook his head. “The only person who was ever worshipped among numen was Aaia. She was a very powerful psychic. She forced millions to worship her, and she took them with her through a giant rift. She never returned.”
Xander lit up. “Aaia! Now here is a woman we both know about. My father helped kill her!”
“What?!” said Illiam. “Your father must be very old. How is he still alive?”
“Well, it only happened a hundred years ago.” said Xander. “Is that old for you?”
“Not really.” replied Illiam, who was a little more than a hundred himself. “But how could Aaia still be alive?”
“Because she was a goddess.” replied Xander. “It took an army of the most powerful people in the galaxy to bring her down. I was born almost a year after the battle was over.”
“So we’re around the same age.” said Illiam.
“Are we?” asked Xander, pleased. “That’s very interesting.”
“Maybe we’re talking about different people.”
Xander shook his head. “I highly doubt it. She is said to be the mother of all humans, Aaia.”
“But our Aaia was a numan.”
Xander tapped his lip. “I think that she just renamed the numen who came with her humans. So you really are a human.”
“Do I really look so identical?”
“Utterly identical.” said Xander. “You are a human if I have ever seen one. And were we to run a detection spell on you, you would be completely identical to every other human in the world.” Xander stood up and offered Illiam a hand. “Not that I’m saying you aren’t special. You are a very exquisite specimen of humanity, or numanity as it may be.”
Illiam laughed despite himself, snorting at Xander’s comment. “Oh, I’m sure I am.” He took Xander’s hand and stood up. “What even is a spell, anyway?”
Xander blinked. “You’re a spellcaster. Or some sort of psychic.”
“H-how did you know I was psychic?” asked Illiam.
“It was obvious.” replied Xander. “You tried to use your powers on me when you were trying to escape. I am a sorcerer myself. I can’t conceive of a world that understands psychic powers but not magic.”
“I wouldn’t say we understand psychic powers.” said Illiam. “Otherwise, nobody would have them.”
“Why not?” replied Xander. “You seem like a very talented psychic, Illiam. You were able to hold your own against me for a while.”
“Talented?” Illiam almost laughed again. A psychic being talented? “Wait, let me guess. In this backwards world, people like psychics. They’re fine with psychics. We’re just fine and dandy.” Xander was nodding slowly, and Illiam let out another snort-like laugh. “That’s amazing. Next thing you’ll be telling me that couples are selected on things other than humour compatibility!”
Xander blinked.
And blinked again.
“Well, I suppose that is very important?” he started. “To be able to understand your chosen partner or partners’ sense of humor? I mean, it’s not the deciding factor or anything, but without it-”
“No, like the four humours. Don’t tell me don’t know about those.” said Illiam.
“Like, black humor, um, the standard humor, a terrible sense of humor, absurd humor? I could think of more than those. Um, insulting humor? Satire, its cousin who is often mistaken for it at parties?”
“No, like blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm.”
Xander shook his head. “I have never considered phlegm compatibility when choosing a sexual partner.” He paused. “Maybe I could instruct you on how we choose partners in this part of the galaxy?”
“You get to choose your own?”
“Of course.” said Xander.
“Not chosen for you by Partnering Technicians?”
“Of course not.”
On top of the table was a very large statue of Xander, one made of precious metals and stones. Illiam reached out to touch it and he heard the sound of gasping from the crowd. He drew his hand back, looking at Xander.
“The statue is of you.”
“Of course it is.” replied Xander in almost a whisper. “They worship me, after all.”
These people worshipped Xander?!
It was at this moment Illiam had to run. He dashed out of the cathedral, then looked all around him. Walls surrounded the palace, but he could climb them. As he ran towards the walls, Xander ran towards him, and Illiam tried to put on speed to escape him this time. But Xander was in front of him again, and no matter which way he turned, Xander was there. Illiam collapsed, almost about to cry. No. No.
“Illiam. What has upset you? I told you previously I was a god.”
“I don’t know what a god is!” yelled Illiam.
“Oh.” said Xander, kneeling so he would be on Illiam’s level. “Well, a god is a very powerful person who is worshipped by their people. I am one of the newest gods, but I am very powerful for my age.”
“So you’ll admit it! You’ll admit you’re controlling their minds! And I bet you’re trying to control me too!”
Xander blinked. “Illiam, you are confused. I don’t force anyone to worship me. Why would I need to control their minds? They worship me because I am wonderful and powerful and their emperor. Don’t you have people like that? People who are wonderful and powerful and who you respect?”
“No.” replied Illiam. “It would damage the integrity of the numen species for one person to be more important than anyone else.” Well, anyone who wasn’t defective, at least.
“Hm.” said Xander. “Well, here in this part of the galaxy we have many people who are wonderful and powerful and who are respected. Like, for example, me.”
Illiam shook his head. “The only person who was ever worshipped among numen was Aaia. She was a very powerful psychic. She forced millions to worship her, and she took them with her through a giant rift. She never returned.”
Xander lit up. “Aaia! Now here is a woman we both know about. My father helped kill her!”
“What?!” said Illiam. “Your father must be very old. How is he still alive?”
“Well, it only happened a hundred years ago.” said Xander. “Is that old for you?”
“Not really.” replied Illiam, who was a little more than a hundred himself. “But how could Aaia still be alive?”
“Because she was a goddess.” replied Xander. “It took an army of the most powerful people in the galaxy to bring her down. I was born almost a year after the battle was over.”
“So we’re around the same age.” said Illiam.
“Are we?” asked Xander, pleased. “That’s very interesting.”
“Maybe we’re talking about different people.”
Xander shook his head. “I highly doubt it. She is said to be the mother of all humans, Aaia.”
“But our Aaia was a numan.”
Xander tapped his lip. “I think that she just renamed the numen who came with her humans. So you really are a human.”
“Do I really look so identical?”
“Utterly identical.” said Xander. “You are a human if I have ever seen one. And were we to run a detection spell on you, you would be completely identical to every other human in the world.” Xander stood up and offered Illiam a hand. “Not that I’m saying you aren’t special. You are a very exquisite specimen of humanity, or numanity as it may be.”
Illiam laughed despite himself, snorting at Xander’s comment. “Oh, I’m sure I am.” He took Xander’s hand and stood up. “What even is a spell, anyway?”
Xander blinked. “You’re a spellcaster. Or some sort of psychic.”
“H-how did you know I was psychic?” asked Illiam.
“It was obvious.” replied Xander. “You tried to use your powers on me when you were trying to escape. I am a sorcerer myself. I can’t conceive of a world that understands psychic powers but not magic.”
“I wouldn’t say we understand psychic powers.” said Illiam. “Otherwise, nobody would have them.”
“Why not?” replied Xander. “You seem like a very talented psychic, Illiam. You were able to hold your own against me for a while.”
“Talented?” Illiam almost laughed again. A psychic being talented? “Wait, let me guess. In this backwards world, people like psychics. They’re fine with psychics. We’re just fine and dandy.” Xander was nodding slowly, and Illiam let out another snort-like laugh. “That’s amazing. Next thing you’ll be telling me that couples are selected on things other than humour compatibility!”
Xander blinked.
And blinked again.
“Well, I suppose that is very important?” he started. “To be able to understand your chosen partner or partners’ sense of humor? I mean, it’s not the deciding factor or anything, but without it-”
“No, like the four humours. Don’t tell me don’t know about those.” said Illiam.
“Like, black humor, um, the standard humor, a terrible sense of humor, absurd humor? I could think of more than those. Um, insulting humor? Satire, its cousin who is often mistaken for it at parties?”
“No, like blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm.”
Xander shook his head. “I have never considered phlegm compatibility when choosing a sexual partner.” He paused. “Maybe I could instruct you on how we choose partners in this part of the galaxy?”
“You get to choose your own?”
“Of course.” said Xander.
“Not chosen for you by Partnering Technicians?”
“Of course not.”
Illiam sat down in a room while Xander fiddled with a crystal ball of some sort.
“Alright. I will now attempt to explain relationships in the following presentation: What is Love?”
“I know what love is.” said Illiam, rolling his eyes. “A bad idea.”
“So you have heard of it!” said Xander excitedly. “Alright, that means I can delete slide seven entirely.”
“Are your relationships all based on love here?” asked Illiam. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t understand how society doesn’t collapse. How can you have stability when people go around loving other people, changing their mind when it’s convenient?”
“Well, generally people attempt to love each other for long periods of time. When they no longer each other, it’s very sad, but they attempt to love each other once more or they go their separate ways.” explained Xander. “May I begin my presentation?”
“How can you love another person for a long period of time?” was Illiam’s next question. “Love is as fleeting as it is destructive- and not in a good way.”
“I believe you are thinking of lust.”
“They’re the same thing.” retorted Illiam.
“They are very easily confused, but they are completely different.” said Xander. “I know I, myself, have a hard time differentiating between the two, but they are very different.” He looked at the crystal ball. “I wish I could have more of the former and less of the latter.”
“So what kind of girls do you like, Xander?” asked Illiam, raising an eyebrow.
“What?” asked Xander. “I don’t like women at all.”
“What?!”
“Oh! I mean as individuals there are many women who I count among my friends and employees! But I find myself completely unattracted to them. In fact, I find myself completely unattracted to any people not of the male gender.”
This couldn’t be real. Illiam was having some sort of baffling dream before death. This was not reality! He really wasn’t sitting here, with the most powerful person on this planet standing before him and telling him- “You’re a homosexual?”
“Y-yes.” stutted Xander. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Illiam looked into Xander’s un-eyes. “D-does everyone else?”
“No. Not at all.”
And then Illiam couldn’t take it anymore. He begun to sob- loud, upset tears coming from his eyes, pouring from them, his mouth letting out pathetic little gasps of suffering. Xander ran to Illiam and hugged him tightly, as if knowing why Illiam was crying, and Illiam pulled his hands tightly around him and squeezed back.
Illiam didn’t know how long the crying went on. Finally, the tears were reduced to a few drops of water and a sniffle or too, and he looked to Xander. “I just can’t believe… my brain is still amazed over the fact that there’s a place where people like…. like us…. “
“Oh, Illiam.” said Xander. “It’s equally hard for me to conceive of a world where homophobic people are the norm. I grew up with two male parents, and nobody dared speak against them.”
“How can your parents both be men?”
Xander blinked before replying, “Oh, right, you don’t have magic. Or transgender people, I suppose.”
Illiam decided to save the discussion on what transgender meant to a later moment. “So you were born with magic?”
“Yes.” said Xander. “Here, here they are on my slideshow.”
One of them was a man with light brown skin, and the other had white skin. The first man was dressed in an elaborate outfit, decadent in the extreme, and the other man was dressed in ancient-looking armor. They were waving at the camera. The first man had small horns and a large, prominent tail, and they both looked happy.
Illiam touched the image. “And they chose each other?”
“Who else would choose for them?”
“They weren’t chosen for the good of their species or because they were compatible or because their projected children were unlikely to be-”
Xander clasped Illiam’s hands. “No. Here, people choose each other. Because they like each other.”
“That sounds very selfish.” replied Illiam.
“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish.”
Illiam thought about this for a long moment. It was a very foreign concept. Then, he repeated Xander.
“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish.”
“You need to think of yourself, Illiam.” said Xander. “I often think of myself first. I would strongly attribute my happiness to that.”
“Everyone here is happy.” said Illiam. “When I walked down the streets, everyone was happy. In public, even. People were smiling. Holding hands.”
“Didn’t you ever do that?”
“Not with people watching.” replied Illiam. “Happiness is not to be shared with people you don’t know.”
“Don’t you have things like parties? Or-”
“Oh, we have them, yes. But not with people we don’t know.” Illiam thought back to many parties he’d attended. Getting drunk, drinking blood from the chalice, dancing. Trying to push away the feelings he had.
Anger at the world that had proclaimed him defective.
Disgust at himself for being born defective in so many ways.
Sadness at knowing he would never be allowed to be with anyone else…
That his brother likely shared many of the same feelings he did, and yet they were not allowed to share their misery.
“I will take you to a party.” said Xander, interrupting Illiam from his thoughts. “Would you like to come?”
Illiam, after a moment, nodded. “I think I would.”
“Alright. I will now attempt to explain relationships in the following presentation: What is Love?”
“I know what love is.” said Illiam, rolling his eyes. “A bad idea.”
“So you have heard of it!” said Xander excitedly. “Alright, that means I can delete slide seven entirely.”
“Are your relationships all based on love here?” asked Illiam. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t understand how society doesn’t collapse. How can you have stability when people go around loving other people, changing their mind when it’s convenient?”
“Well, generally people attempt to love each other for long periods of time. When they no longer each other, it’s very sad, but they attempt to love each other once more or they go their separate ways.” explained Xander. “May I begin my presentation?”
“How can you love another person for a long period of time?” was Illiam’s next question. “Love is as fleeting as it is destructive- and not in a good way.”
“I believe you are thinking of lust.”
“They’re the same thing.” retorted Illiam.
“They are very easily confused, but they are completely different.” said Xander. “I know I, myself, have a hard time differentiating between the two, but they are very different.” He looked at the crystal ball. “I wish I could have more of the former and less of the latter.”
“So what kind of girls do you like, Xander?” asked Illiam, raising an eyebrow.
“What?” asked Xander. “I don’t like women at all.”
“What?!”
“Oh! I mean as individuals there are many women who I count among my friends and employees! But I find myself completely unattracted to them. In fact, I find myself completely unattracted to any people not of the male gender.”
This couldn’t be real. Illiam was having some sort of baffling dream before death. This was not reality! He really wasn’t sitting here, with the most powerful person on this planet standing before him and telling him- “You’re a homosexual?”
“Y-yes.” stutted Xander. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Illiam looked into Xander’s un-eyes. “D-does everyone else?”
“No. Not at all.”
And then Illiam couldn’t take it anymore. He begun to sob- loud, upset tears coming from his eyes, pouring from them, his mouth letting out pathetic little gasps of suffering. Xander ran to Illiam and hugged him tightly, as if knowing why Illiam was crying, and Illiam pulled his hands tightly around him and squeezed back.
Illiam didn’t know how long the crying went on. Finally, the tears were reduced to a few drops of water and a sniffle or too, and he looked to Xander. “I just can’t believe… my brain is still amazed over the fact that there’s a place where people like…. like us…. “
“Oh, Illiam.” said Xander. “It’s equally hard for me to conceive of a world where homophobic people are the norm. I grew up with two male parents, and nobody dared speak against them.”
“How can your parents both be men?”
Xander blinked before replying, “Oh, right, you don’t have magic. Or transgender people, I suppose.”
Illiam decided to save the discussion on what transgender meant to a later moment. “So you were born with magic?”
“Yes.” said Xander. “Here, here they are on my slideshow.”
One of them was a man with light brown skin, and the other had white skin. The first man was dressed in an elaborate outfit, decadent in the extreme, and the other man was dressed in ancient-looking armor. They were waving at the camera. The first man had small horns and a large, prominent tail, and they both looked happy.
Illiam touched the image. “And they chose each other?”
“Who else would choose for them?”
“They weren’t chosen for the good of their species or because they were compatible or because their projected children were unlikely to be-”
Xander clasped Illiam’s hands. “No. Here, people choose each other. Because they like each other.”
“That sounds very selfish.” replied Illiam.
“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish.”
Illiam thought about this for a long moment. It was a very foreign concept. Then, he repeated Xander.
“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish.”
“You need to think of yourself, Illiam.” said Xander. “I often think of myself first. I would strongly attribute my happiness to that.”
“Everyone here is happy.” said Illiam. “When I walked down the streets, everyone was happy. In public, even. People were smiling. Holding hands.”
“Didn’t you ever do that?”
“Not with people watching.” replied Illiam. “Happiness is not to be shared with people you don’t know.”
“Don’t you have things like parties? Or-”
“Oh, we have them, yes. But not with people we don’t know.” Illiam thought back to many parties he’d attended. Getting drunk, drinking blood from the chalice, dancing. Trying to push away the feelings he had.
Anger at the world that had proclaimed him defective.
Disgust at himself for being born defective in so many ways.
Sadness at knowing he would never be allowed to be with anyone else…
That his brother likely shared many of the same feelings he did, and yet they were not allowed to share their misery.
“I will take you to a party.” said Xander, interrupting Illiam from his thoughts. “Would you like to come?”
Illiam, after a moment, nodded. “I think I would.”
Illiam looked onto the bed of the room where he was staying. On the bed was a beautiful green and gold outfit, and there was a note on top of that.
“Illiam- I saw this and thought of you. I think you would look very handsome in it.”
Illiam took a deep breath and picked up the outfit.
“Illiam- I saw this and thought of you. I think you would look very handsome in it.”
Illiam took a deep breath and picked up the outfit.
Xander was dressed in a similar outfit. Now that he knew in this world it wasn’t wrong, Illiam was fully able to admit to himself that Xander was very handsome. He was the center of attention at his party. But the moment he noticed Illiam enter, his eyes turned to him. “Illiam, come here! I would like you to meet my friends!”
Then Xander begun to introduce a baffling amount of people to Illiam. Sasudama. Ediel. Eznar. Tetriel. Abuzoz. Kardinia. Who were they all? Why were there so many of them? Did Xander really expect him to memorize all these names?
Xander put a drink into Illiam’s hand. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure.” said Illiam, and took a sip. It was strong and also sweet. He took another, and another. It was more delicious than anything he had ever tasted.
Alcoholic, though. “Now you need blood to wash it down!”
The others laughed and Xander smiled widely. “What a wonderful idea, Illiam! Yes, bring in the blood! Let the blood flow!”
Then Xander begun to introduce a baffling amount of people to Illiam. Sasudama. Ediel. Eznar. Tetriel. Abuzoz. Kardinia. Who were they all? Why were there so many of them? Did Xander really expect him to memorize all these names?
Xander put a drink into Illiam’s hand. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure.” said Illiam, and took a sip. It was strong and also sweet. He took another, and another. It was more delicious than anything he had ever tasted.
Alcoholic, though. “Now you need blood to wash it down!”
The others laughed and Xander smiled widely. “What a wonderful idea, Illiam! Yes, bring in the blood! Let the blood flow!”
Illiam was sitting on a chair, watching the people at the center of the party. One of the people who he had been introduced to before approached before popping on a chair next to him. “So you’re Xander’s new boy-toy, hm? Let me warn you- he never stays interested in you for long.” The slightly horned man smiled before sipping his own drink. “Before you know it, he’ll toss you to the side. And you’ll be forever chasing his flame.”
Illiam looked to this man. “I’m not- Xander and I aren’t-”
“There’s no need to deny it.” said the horned man. “Look at the way he looked at you. The way he lit up when he looked at you. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
“I’m not even-”
“You can deny it to me all you want.” said the horned man before finishing his drink and popping off the chair. “But don’t deny it to yourself. That’s sad.” He offered Illiam a hand. “It’s Tetriel, by the way. I know you don’t remember.”
Illiam looked at Tetriel’s manicured hand before Xander yelled to him. “Illiam! Come dance with me!”
And he touched it for the briefest of moments before walking towards Xander.
Illiam looked to this man. “I’m not- Xander and I aren’t-”
“There’s no need to deny it.” said the horned man. “Look at the way he looked at you. The way he lit up when he looked at you. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
“I’m not even-”
“You can deny it to me all you want.” said the horned man before finishing his drink and popping off the chair. “But don’t deny it to yourself. That’s sad.” He offered Illiam a hand. “It’s Tetriel, by the way. I know you don’t remember.”
Illiam looked at Tetriel’s manicured hand before Xander yelled to him. “Illiam! Come dance with me!”
And he touched it for the briefest of moments before walking towards Xander.
Xander and Illiam stood in front of Illiam’s room. “Thank you for walking me back.” said Illiam. “I’ll… go to sleep now. Try to feel better in the morning.”
Xander looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn’t. “I will see you then. Would you like some tomato juice then? It does wonders. Or, it did when I still got hangovers.”
“What, gods don’t?” asked Illiam. “I want to be one now.” He snorted, then opened the door. Then paused. He looked to Xander. “Before I go to sleep, I just wanted to say… someone may have told me that you were interested in me. In… the way we discussed earlier. I just wanted to tell you that… you shouldn’t.”
Xander looked distressed. “Illiam, I-”
“If you want to talk about it with me, we can talk about it in the morning.” said Illiam. “For now I’d like to sleep.”
Xander looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn’t. “I will see you then. Would you like some tomato juice then? It does wonders. Or, it did when I still got hangovers.”
“What, gods don’t?” asked Illiam. “I want to be one now.” He snorted, then opened the door. Then paused. He looked to Xander. “Before I go to sleep, I just wanted to say… someone may have told me that you were interested in me. In… the way we discussed earlier. I just wanted to tell you that… you shouldn’t.”
Xander looked distressed. “Illiam, I-”
“If you want to talk about it with me, we can talk about it in the morning.” said Illiam. “For now I’d like to sleep.”
Xander came with breakfast and tomato juice. “It looks like you really did want to talk.” said Illiam, eating eggs, a crispy thing Xander called “bacon” and toasted bread. Tomato juice was sweet and savory, and Illiam was nearly though his breakfast before Xander finally spoke.
“I do! Yes, Illiam, I do. But like I said before, it is difficult for me to tell between love and lust. We have only just met. I’ve known you for roughly two days. I think that… for once in my life… I would like to take things slowly.”
“And I don’t think they should happen at all. You’re a powerful emperor. Among my people… I was considered defective. Not just for being homosexual. Not just for being psychic. For…. other reasons, too.”
Xander patted Illiam’s hand. “Not everyone can be perfect. In fact, most people are not.”
“I just think that a person like you deserves better. I’m wrong.”
“I am literally the god of evil.” replied Xander. “You’re a person, Illiam. Not a broken object or a thing. People can’t be defective.” He stroked Illiam’s hand again. “I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”
“You’re lying.” said Illiam, shaking his head. “Can’t you… can’t you just tell?”
“No. You’re very interesting. And I like you. I’d like to get to know you more.” Xander smiled at Illiam. “Won’t you let me?”
“I do! Yes, Illiam, I do. But like I said before, it is difficult for me to tell between love and lust. We have only just met. I’ve known you for roughly two days. I think that… for once in my life… I would like to take things slowly.”
“And I don’t think they should happen at all. You’re a powerful emperor. Among my people… I was considered defective. Not just for being homosexual. Not just for being psychic. For…. other reasons, too.”
Xander patted Illiam’s hand. “Not everyone can be perfect. In fact, most people are not.”
“I just think that a person like you deserves better. I’m wrong.”
“I am literally the god of evil.” replied Xander. “You’re a person, Illiam. Not a broken object or a thing. People can’t be defective.” He stroked Illiam’s hand again. “I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”
“You’re lying.” said Illiam, shaking his head. “Can’t you… can’t you just tell?”
“No. You’re very interesting. And I like you. I’d like to get to know you more.” Xander smiled at Illiam. “Won’t you let me?”
“This is the ocean of lava!” explained Xander, pointing to… well, you can guess. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“It’s very beautiful.” said Illiam politely. It had been nearly a month since he’d arrived on this planet, and ever since Xander had taken him on a tour of it.
“We can go sailing on a lava boat!” said Xander.
“Won’t we burn up?” asked Illliam.
Xander shook his head, waving. “I’ll protect you.” he replied. His halo flashed and gathered around Illiam, a warm glow around him. “Don’t worry about things like falling into lava and dying when you’re with me.”
“It’s very beautiful.” said Illiam politely. It had been nearly a month since he’d arrived on this planet, and ever since Xander had taken him on a tour of it.
“We can go sailing on a lava boat!” said Xander.
“Won’t we burn up?” asked Illliam.
Xander shook his head, waving. “I’ll protect you.” he replied. His halo flashed and gathered around Illiam, a warm glow around him. “Don’t worry about things like falling into lava and dying when you’re with me.”
Illiam had begun to expect an outfit from Xander and breakfast with him in the morning.
They’d talk about Xander’s job governing the empire, things that Illiam still thought strange about this world, and sometimes family.
Xander would talk about his two male parents (his father and his “sire”), and his siblings and their children.
Illiam would tell him all about Elian, the only person who he had ever really cared about.
It hurt, missing him, not even knowing if he was dead or alive, but Xander did his best to support Illiam, be there for him.
Even if he wanted to go back, he couldn’t. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten here from Terra, and he certainly couldn’t figure out how to go back.
Not to mention that he certainly didn’t want to go back.
They’d talk about Xander’s job governing the empire, things that Illiam still thought strange about this world, and sometimes family.
Xander would talk about his two male parents (his father and his “sire”), and his siblings and their children.
Illiam would tell him all about Elian, the only person who he had ever really cared about.
It hurt, missing him, not even knowing if he was dead or alive, but Xander did his best to support Illiam, be there for him.
Even if he wanted to go back, he couldn’t. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten here from Terra, and he certainly couldn’t figure out how to go back.
Not to mention that he certainly didn’t want to go back.
Other than going around with Xander and seeing things, Illiam’s days were spent in combat training and in learning how to properly (not through psychic powers) speak the language they spoke, Infernal.
Illiam had always wanted to learn to properly fight, and his brain developed powers more in that direction. He learned how to use a sword, how to fight unarmed, and how to properly wear armor. Apparently this world hadn’t fully developed firearms technology, so Illiam also had to learn how to use a bow, which was the hardest part of the training.
He felt his body changing, and his psychic powers, previously barely developed, finally coming into full fruition. He was becoming someone else. Not Illiam Ashbur, the coward who abandoned his brother, someone who he would rather be. In this world, he could simply be himself without judgement.
Illiam had always wanted to learn to properly fight, and his brain developed powers more in that direction. He learned how to use a sword, how to fight unarmed, and how to properly wear armor. Apparently this world hadn’t fully developed firearms technology, so Illiam also had to learn how to use a bow, which was the hardest part of the training.
He felt his body changing, and his psychic powers, previously barely developed, finally coming into full fruition. He was becoming someone else. Not Illiam Ashbur, the coward who abandoned his brother, someone who he would rather be. In this world, he could simply be himself without judgement.
Some days, Illiam didn’t think of the Numen.
He didn’t think of that world he’d escaped where he’d always be nothing, nobody. Where he was told he didn’t deserve companionship. That when he died, his name would rightfully be forgotten.
Other days he did. Other days he had nightmares where this world had never existed, where he was right back there and all these wrong things that seemed so right just weren’t and Xander was nothing but a dream.
And he woke up screaming in his bed until he realized, relieved, that there, there, there he was.
One day Illiam thought of the Numen.
“Please, Illiam.” Xander teased. “This is the longest I’ve ever had to wait for everyone. Most of my relationships would be over by this point. What reason do you have to say no? I know you like me. You know I like you.”
And Illiam thought about it, and- “There is no reason.” And there was no reason.
No reason at all.
He didn’t think of that world he’d escaped where he’d always be nothing, nobody. Where he was told he didn’t deserve companionship. That when he died, his name would rightfully be forgotten.
Other days he did. Other days he had nightmares where this world had never existed, where he was right back there and all these wrong things that seemed so right just weren’t and Xander was nothing but a dream.
And he woke up screaming in his bed until he realized, relieved, that there, there, there he was.
One day Illiam thought of the Numen.
“Please, Illiam.” Xander teased. “This is the longest I’ve ever had to wait for everyone. Most of my relationships would be over by this point. What reason do you have to say no? I know you like me. You know I like you.”
And Illiam thought about it, and- “There is no reason.” And there was no reason.
No reason at all.
It about a month later, a full year after Illiam’s arrival, that Illiam and Xander decided that Illiam would move fully into Xander’s room. Ironically, the thing he had been embarrased to even think about, the thing he thought Xander was implying when he offered him a place in his house, was becoming reality.
And Illiam couldn’t be happier. He couldn’t imagine himself without the tiefling god who he… yes, loved. Love was not as selfish as an emotion as Illiam had been told. When Xander was upset, Illiam couldn’t be happy. And when he was upset, Xander would do his best to comfort him.
The nightmares came less often. Xander’s presence- just him being there, lying there, next to him- comforted him while he slept.
Xander didn’t need to sleep. He told Illiam that while he slept, he thought. There were countless racing thoughts that went through a god’s mind. A large part of his brain subconciously generated and granted magic to his followers, while another managed his ever-growing plane, which was a little world that was just Xander’s. Another part of his brain controlled all his power.
When he thought with Illiam beside him, he often thought of him.
And Illiam couldn’t be happier. He couldn’t imagine himself without the tiefling god who he… yes, loved. Love was not as selfish as an emotion as Illiam had been told. When Xander was upset, Illiam couldn’t be happy. And when he was upset, Xander would do his best to comfort him.
The nightmares came less often. Xander’s presence- just him being there, lying there, next to him- comforted him while he slept.
Xander didn’t need to sleep. He told Illiam that while he slept, he thought. There were countless racing thoughts that went through a god’s mind. A large part of his brain subconciously generated and granted magic to his followers, while another managed his ever-growing plane, which was a little world that was just Xander’s. Another part of his brain controlled all his power.
When he thought with Illiam beside him, he often thought of him.
“Do you ever think about us getting married?” asked Illiam. It had been ten years since Illiam’s arrival. Nine years since they moved in together.
“I did not think myself the marrying sort. And what with marriage was in your culture…”
“I don’t care what it was in my old world.” replied Illiam. “This is my world now. My culture. This is who I am, Xander.”
“So you’re saying you’d like to get married?” asked Xander. He hummed, thoughtfully. “I think I would like that. I’d have to make you co-emperor, though.”
‘I thought you said that nobody was worthy to sit beside you.” said Illiam.
“When did I say that?” asked Xander.
“A long time ago.” replied Illiam. “When we first met.”
Xander bent down slightly to kiss Illiam’s forehead. “Well, you’re certainly very worthy. And the wedding will be wonderful.”
“I did not think myself the marrying sort. And what with marriage was in your culture…”
“I don’t care what it was in my old world.” replied Illiam. “This is my world now. My culture. This is who I am, Xander.”
“So you’re saying you’d like to get married?” asked Xander. He hummed, thoughtfully. “I think I would like that. I’d have to make you co-emperor, though.”
‘I thought you said that nobody was worthy to sit beside you.” said Illiam.
“When did I say that?” asked Xander.
“A long time ago.” replied Illiam. “When we first met.”
Xander bent down slightly to kiss Illiam’s forehead. “Well, you’re certainly very worthy. And the wedding will be wonderful.”
The wedding was the first time he met Xander’s father, Sebastian, who he didn’t get along with very well. Sebastian had tears in his eyes, and he hugged Illiam.
“Oh, darling, I never thought that anyone would be right for my Xander. That he would never find anyone who would put up with him and love him. But you do. It’s so… oh, Illiam. I’m so happy you’ll be my son in law.”
“I’m happy you’ll be my father in law.” said Illiam. Xander rolled his eyes.
So many people had come for the wedding. Everyone who didn’t utterly hate Xander, including the ruler of a different hell who they didn’t really get along with, Mazin, and his spouse, Krenmyr, a drow.
Xander and Illiam stood at the altar of that grand cathedral, and Illiam hardly even thought of that time so many years ago he’d first come here.
He just looked into Xander’s eyes, which he had long since stopped thinking of as “non-eyes”, and waited for that moment where they would be married. Together until they died.
“Oh, darling, I never thought that anyone would be right for my Xander. That he would never find anyone who would put up with him and love him. But you do. It’s so… oh, Illiam. I’m so happy you’ll be my son in law.”
“I’m happy you’ll be my father in law.” said Illiam. Xander rolled his eyes.
So many people had come for the wedding. Everyone who didn’t utterly hate Xander, including the ruler of a different hell who they didn’t really get along with, Mazin, and his spouse, Krenmyr, a drow.
Xander and Illiam stood at the altar of that grand cathedral, and Illiam hardly even thought of that time so many years ago he’d first come here.
He just looked into Xander’s eyes, which he had long since stopped thinking of as “non-eyes”, and waited for that moment where they would be married. Together until they died.
One Hundred and Fifty Years Later.
“What’s this?” said Illiam, sorting the mail that had been deemed worthy to be given to the emperors. “It has a picture of a baby on it.”
“Let me see.” said Xander. He took it from Illiam. “Oh, it’s an invitation to Mazin and Krenmyr’s baby shower. They are having a child. We cannot attend. We have-”
“The ribbon cutting. Right.” replied Illiam. Then, he paused. “Do you ever think about having a child?”
“What? A child? A little devil? ...sometimes. But you don’t like children, do you, Illiam?”
“Whatever gave you that idea, Xander?” asked Illiam. Okay, he didn’t. But he would make an exception for his own child. “I think a child would be very cute. Who would they take over more, you or me?”
“Would you like to find out?”
“What’s this?” said Illiam, sorting the mail that had been deemed worthy to be given to the emperors. “It has a picture of a baby on it.”
“Let me see.” said Xander. He took it from Illiam. “Oh, it’s an invitation to Mazin and Krenmyr’s baby shower. They are having a child. We cannot attend. We have-”
“The ribbon cutting. Right.” replied Illiam. Then, he paused. “Do you ever think about having a child?”
“What? A child? A little devil? ...sometimes. But you don’t like children, do you, Illiam?”
“Whatever gave you that idea, Xander?” asked Illiam. Okay, he didn’t. But he would make an exception for his own child. “I think a child would be very cute. Who would they take over more, you or me?”
“Would you like to find out?”
“Seva, I don’t want you kicking anyone during this visit.” scolded Illiam, who had taken his children, Sevvie and Jiro, on a rare playdate with Eurynomos, Mazin and Krenmyr’s child. Sevvie was three, and Jiro was still in the “Terrible Twos’- though Jiro was a very sweet baby and frankly Illiam was all for renaming Three the Terrible Three.
“Okay daddy.” said Sevvie as she entered the room. She took more after her father Xander in both looks and temperament, a very stubborn little girl with black hair, Xander’s reverse eyes, and a growing set of horns. Her brother Jiro was a very chubby little baby with blonde hair and a near-constant smile. Everyone told Xander and Illiam he reminded them of Illiam, but Illiam knew who Jiro was really like. He was just like Elian.
Eurynomos, being half-drow, had dark grey skin, but like Sevvie he already had an impressive set of horns. “Hi SEV! Hi Jiro! You wanna see my sheep?”
“I have a sheep too.” said Sevvie. “But mine’s real and you can ride it.”
“No you can’t!” replied Eurynomos. “That’s bad to ride sheep! They kick you off!”
“Nuh huh!” yelled Sevvie. “And I have a goat and a big egg and a doggie and a jubjub bird!”
“That’s not even a real animal!”
“Yes he is and he loves to sing!” retorted Sevvie. “This is the big song he sings and his name is harold the jub jub bird. MY NAME IS HAROLD AND I THE JUB JUB BIRD, I LIKE TO FLY, I LIKE TO FLY LIKE BIRD!”
Illiam sat, a pained expression on his face, as he encouraged Jiro to go over near the other children. Jiro instead toddled towards the bookshelf, picking out a large picture book and taking it from the shelf. Illiam was pretty sure that Jiro couldn’t read, but still he felt nervous about the large book reading “I Can Make a Difference”, depicting demons and devils in a line to vote and the pictures of smiling diabolic candidates on campaign posters. He didn’t want Jiro getting any ideas about democracy.
“Okay daddy.” said Sevvie as she entered the room. She took more after her father Xander in both looks and temperament, a very stubborn little girl with black hair, Xander’s reverse eyes, and a growing set of horns. Her brother Jiro was a very chubby little baby with blonde hair and a near-constant smile. Everyone told Xander and Illiam he reminded them of Illiam, but Illiam knew who Jiro was really like. He was just like Elian.
Eurynomos, being half-drow, had dark grey skin, but like Sevvie he already had an impressive set of horns. “Hi SEV! Hi Jiro! You wanna see my sheep?”
“I have a sheep too.” said Sevvie. “But mine’s real and you can ride it.”
“No you can’t!” replied Eurynomos. “That’s bad to ride sheep! They kick you off!”
“Nuh huh!” yelled Sevvie. “And I have a goat and a big egg and a doggie and a jubjub bird!”
“That’s not even a real animal!”
“Yes he is and he loves to sing!” retorted Sevvie. “This is the big song he sings and his name is harold the jub jub bird. MY NAME IS HAROLD AND I THE JUB JUB BIRD, I LIKE TO FLY, I LIKE TO FLY LIKE BIRD!”
Illiam sat, a pained expression on his face, as he encouraged Jiro to go over near the other children. Jiro instead toddled towards the bookshelf, picking out a large picture book and taking it from the shelf. Illiam was pretty sure that Jiro couldn’t read, but still he felt nervous about the large book reading “I Can Make a Difference”, depicting demons and devils in a line to vote and the pictures of smiling diabolic candidates on campaign posters. He didn’t want Jiro getting any ideas about democracy.
Illiam woke up from his slumber by Xander shaking. “You have to come, Illiam. Right away. We’ve intercepted a communication from an unknown source.”
They both ran to the communication room, where Sevvie and Jiro were waiting, sitting on chairs, Jiro was reading a book quietly, while Sevvie was chewing gum. “Gosh, dads, what took you so long?” she joked. “And why do Jiro and I have to be here?”
“It’s your responsibility as the Princess and Prince.” replied Illiam. “Now, come on. Let’s watch the communication.”
The devil at the control panel flicked a switch, and Illiam couldn’t believe what he was seeing on the screen. It was Elian! And Ulmer! The Xelcorp logo was below them. Elian was wearing an eyepatch for xander knew what reason, and honestly looked like he’d been roughed up quite a bit. He was wearing a coat that Illiam knew would never be in style on Terra. In a voice colder than any voice Illiam had ever heard from his brother, he spoke. “This is a communication from the eXcelleration Corporation, or Xelcorp. We are survivors from the planet formerly known as Terra before its destruction by the X`lanthian empire- our entire species, the Numen, was destroyed by them. We are looking for any civilization willing to trade or ally with us. Our location in the galaxy can be seen below. We are technologically advanced and grateful for any business or aid. Thank you.”
The message then looped as Illiam stared at that screen. It was dead silence except for the message’s repetition for almost a minute. Finally, Sevvie spoke. “So… um, why are those people speaking gobblygook, and why does one of them look just like you, dad?”
Illiam stared at his brother’s rough, one-eyed, still alive face. “That man is my brother. Elian Ashbur.”
They both ran to the communication room, where Sevvie and Jiro were waiting, sitting on chairs, Jiro was reading a book quietly, while Sevvie was chewing gum. “Gosh, dads, what took you so long?” she joked. “And why do Jiro and I have to be here?”
“It’s your responsibility as the Princess and Prince.” replied Illiam. “Now, come on. Let’s watch the communication.”
The devil at the control panel flicked a switch, and Illiam couldn’t believe what he was seeing on the screen. It was Elian! And Ulmer! The Xelcorp logo was below them. Elian was wearing an eyepatch for xander knew what reason, and honestly looked like he’d been roughed up quite a bit. He was wearing a coat that Illiam knew would never be in style on Terra. In a voice colder than any voice Illiam had ever heard from his brother, he spoke. “This is a communication from the eXcelleration Corporation, or Xelcorp. We are survivors from the planet formerly known as Terra before its destruction by the X`lanthian empire- our entire species, the Numen, was destroyed by them. We are looking for any civilization willing to trade or ally with us. Our location in the galaxy can be seen below. We are technologically advanced and grateful for any business or aid. Thank you.”
The message then looped as Illiam stared at that screen. It was dead silence except for the message’s repetition for almost a minute. Finally, Sevvie spoke. “So… um, why are those people speaking gobblygook, and why does one of them look just like you, dad?”
Illiam stared at his brother’s rough, one-eyed, still alive face. “That man is my brother. Elian Ashbur.”
Author's Note. I'd like to call this my favorite Xilliam thing I've written. I think in some ways it's a typical "character from dystopia escapes dystopia" story, but the twist is that the person who teaches that the person who escaped is an Actually Evil, selfish emperor.
Xander teaches Illiam to be selfish, and in return, Illiam teaches Xander to be selfless.
Word Count: 7812 words. WOW! LONG! This is the longest Snooplet.
The second longest is both parts of Jiro's Birthday.
The third longest is the third part of Novae, and a few words shorter is Happy Holiday Story.
Date: November 17th, 2015
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