Xander Nesline sat down in the comfortable, if a bit dark, psychiatrist's office. The doctor said he had to get something, and so, hands on lap, he waited.Finally, the doctor arrived. He was a slim blonde man- one could almost call him petite- holding a clipboard. "Hello, Hello, I'm Dr. Ashbur, and you must be- would you prefer me to call you Dr. Nesline, or just Xander?"
"Xander is acceptable." said Xander, as Dr. Ashbur sat down in his chair. "May I call you by your first name?"
"Sure. Call me Illiam, if you want."
"William?"
Illiam sighed. "No, it's just Illiam. No W involved."
"Alright."
Illiam looked down to his clipboard, and took out a pen, presumably to take notes with. "Alright, Xander, why don't you tell me your issues are?"
Xander blinked, before lying down on the couch. "Well, I suppose it all began when I was a child. My father-"
"STOP!" exclaimed Illiam, "I am a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. I prescribe drugs and diagnose people. If all you need is someone to listen to you talk, I can prescribe several excellent psychologists in the area, I can also send you to my ex, he will listen to you talk for free!"
"Oh." Xander moved back into upright position. "I always thought that psychologists were psychiatrists who couldn't get into med school like us."
"No, Dr. Nesline, they are two very different fields."
"Well then, is the appointment over, or-"
"No, keep talking about your issues, or I suppose I could call them problems, but as how they relate to the current day, and in ways that allow me to better understand how to treat them. Sadly, I cannot go into your past and make your father raise you differently, I can only do things today."
Xander nodded. "Alright. I suppose my main problem, then, is how empty I feel. I do not feel like I am living for anything anymore. When I was a child, I had to get good grades in school, whether to get into a good private school or mantain my place there, or to get into a good college. In college, I had to study hard to get into med school. In med school, I had to study hard to pass the boards, as well as to get into a good residency program, and when I was in my residency program, I had to-"
"I get the picture." said Illiam.
"And now, I am a successful doctor, I live in a beautiful house, I drive a beautiful car, I get to fiddle with people's hearts many days of the week, and yet, I don't feel as if I am living for any reason anymore."
"Do you not enjoy your job?"
"Oh, I do." said Xander. "But when I get home, there is nothing there. I feel empty inside, as if there's no reason left to be living. What left is there to attain?" Xander looked sadly down, then into Illiam's eyes. "Anyway, if there is a drug that will treat that, and allow me to get back into the swing of things, please prescribe it to me at once!"
Illiam rolled his eyes. "Okay, so what you are describing is ennui, and I don't think they've made a drug to treat that yet. Oh, or possibly depression. That'd be an easy diagnosis, I could get you some antidepressants like, right now."
"I do not think I am depressed. I feel alive and happy when I am working, and sometimes when I am out with my friends."
"You have friends?" asked Illiam.
"What, did I give you the impression that I did not?"
"It was just your description of going home and doing nothing. If you have friends, why don't you visit them?"
"We see each other at work and after work."
"So all your friends are doctors?"
Xander nodded. "Yes, except for Azuolas, he is an anesthesiologist."
Illiam blinked. "You do realize that anesthesiologists are doctors? They go through the same training as the rest of us?"
Xander frowned. "Well, I suppose that's why he doesn't find any of my jokes about him not being an MD funny."
"Alright, alright, so you see your friends, mostly during work. Are you interested in any other relationships? Romantic? I know you mentioned your father, do you desire a better relationship with your family?"
"I have carnal relations with the vast majority of my male friends." replied Xander, checking his nails. "And I hate seeing my father."
Illiam sputtered. "Um, alright then. But have you considered the possibility you might want a more meaningful romantic and sexual relationship?"
"I suppose I could." replied Xander. "It would at least be nice to have someone to live with."
"And what about the rest of your family? Is it just you and your father?"
Xander shook his head. "No. I have my sire, and my siblings. There are four of them. Three of them are successful, as I am, and one of them is my sister Daniys. Look at them! They do not make as much money as me, and yet they seem to have the perfect life. Walking about at Yule, showing off their wriggling spawnlings, adorable little things."
"Are you talking about babies, or giant insects your relatives all seem to have adopted?"
"Babies, of course! My sister Cassandra is saddled with her Bara, a delightful infant, and Lukas, now he had children early, and they have started families of their own!"
Illiam nodded. "Alright, alright. So you want to have a baby."
"Maybe I could just steal one." pondered Xander. "The security in the maternity ward has been slipping these past months."
"That sounds like an excellent way to get yourself fired and remove the one thing you do enjoy in your life. How about this? I prescribe you with going out and trying to meet someone who you would be interested in a relationship with. Maybe go to a singles party or something. Here." Illiam wrote down a time, place, and date on a card. "This is an event for young professionals I attend. Perhaps you could meet someone there. And research how much it would cost you to adopt a child, and what the procedures are for that."
"Alright." said Xander, taking the card. "I will be sure to do that. Um, is that all?"
"Looks like it. But I would like to see you again, look at your progress."
"I am uncertain if that will be nessasary, but will do it anyways." Xander got up to leave. "It was nice meeting you, Illiam."
"It was nice meeting you too, Xander."
"Xander is acceptable." said Xander, as Dr. Ashbur sat down in his chair. "May I call you by your first name?"
"Sure. Call me Illiam, if you want."
"William?"
Illiam sighed. "No, it's just Illiam. No W involved."
"Alright."
Illiam looked down to his clipboard, and took out a pen, presumably to take notes with. "Alright, Xander, why don't you tell me your issues are?"
Xander blinked, before lying down on the couch. "Well, I suppose it all began when I was a child. My father-"
"STOP!" exclaimed Illiam, "I am a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. I prescribe drugs and diagnose people. If all you need is someone to listen to you talk, I can prescribe several excellent psychologists in the area, I can also send you to my ex, he will listen to you talk for free!"
"Oh." Xander moved back into upright position. "I always thought that psychologists were psychiatrists who couldn't get into med school like us."
"No, Dr. Nesline, they are two very different fields."
"Well then, is the appointment over, or-"
"No, keep talking about your issues, or I suppose I could call them problems, but as how they relate to the current day, and in ways that allow me to better understand how to treat them. Sadly, I cannot go into your past and make your father raise you differently, I can only do things today."
Xander nodded. "Alright. I suppose my main problem, then, is how empty I feel. I do not feel like I am living for anything anymore. When I was a child, I had to get good grades in school, whether to get into a good private school or mantain my place there, or to get into a good college. In college, I had to study hard to get into med school. In med school, I had to study hard to pass the boards, as well as to get into a good residency program, and when I was in my residency program, I had to-"
"I get the picture." said Illiam.
"And now, I am a successful doctor, I live in a beautiful house, I drive a beautiful car, I get to fiddle with people's hearts many days of the week, and yet, I don't feel as if I am living for any reason anymore."
"Do you not enjoy your job?"
"Oh, I do." said Xander. "But when I get home, there is nothing there. I feel empty inside, as if there's no reason left to be living. What left is there to attain?" Xander looked sadly down, then into Illiam's eyes. "Anyway, if there is a drug that will treat that, and allow me to get back into the swing of things, please prescribe it to me at once!"
Illiam rolled his eyes. "Okay, so what you are describing is ennui, and I don't think they've made a drug to treat that yet. Oh, or possibly depression. That'd be an easy diagnosis, I could get you some antidepressants like, right now."
"I do not think I am depressed. I feel alive and happy when I am working, and sometimes when I am out with my friends."
"You have friends?" asked Illiam.
"What, did I give you the impression that I did not?"
"It was just your description of going home and doing nothing. If you have friends, why don't you visit them?"
"We see each other at work and after work."
"So all your friends are doctors?"
Xander nodded. "Yes, except for Azuolas, he is an anesthesiologist."
Illiam blinked. "You do realize that anesthesiologists are doctors? They go through the same training as the rest of us?"
Xander frowned. "Well, I suppose that's why he doesn't find any of my jokes about him not being an MD funny."
"Alright, alright, so you see your friends, mostly during work. Are you interested in any other relationships? Romantic? I know you mentioned your father, do you desire a better relationship with your family?"
"I have carnal relations with the vast majority of my male friends." replied Xander, checking his nails. "And I hate seeing my father."
Illiam sputtered. "Um, alright then. But have you considered the possibility you might want a more meaningful romantic and sexual relationship?"
"I suppose I could." replied Xander. "It would at least be nice to have someone to live with."
"And what about the rest of your family? Is it just you and your father?"
Xander shook his head. "No. I have my sire, and my siblings. There are four of them. Three of them are successful, as I am, and one of them is my sister Daniys. Look at them! They do not make as much money as me, and yet they seem to have the perfect life. Walking about at Yule, showing off their wriggling spawnlings, adorable little things."
"Are you talking about babies, or giant insects your relatives all seem to have adopted?"
"Babies, of course! My sister Cassandra is saddled with her Bara, a delightful infant, and Lukas, now he had children early, and they have started families of their own!"
Illiam nodded. "Alright, alright. So you want to have a baby."
"Maybe I could just steal one." pondered Xander. "The security in the maternity ward has been slipping these past months."
"That sounds like an excellent way to get yourself fired and remove the one thing you do enjoy in your life. How about this? I prescribe you with going out and trying to meet someone who you would be interested in a relationship with. Maybe go to a singles party or something. Here." Illiam wrote down a time, place, and date on a card. "This is an event for young professionals I attend. Perhaps you could meet someone there. And research how much it would cost you to adopt a child, and what the procedures are for that."
"Alright." said Xander, taking the card. "I will be sure to do that. Um, is that all?"
"Looks like it. But I would like to see you again, look at your progress."
"I am uncertain if that will be nessasary, but will do it anyways." Xander got up to leave. "It was nice meeting you, Illiam."
"It was nice meeting you too, Xander."
What Xander didn't know was that Illiam had never attended a "young professionals" event in his life, and had simply written down a time, place, and date on the card so he could pretend the event was canceled and he'd shown up to warn Xander, so he could get a date with him, a date that led to another, and another....
Author's Notes:
This story has a new name for the new site. I hope you enjoy the new name. This is a story where awkward Xander is out in full force. It is when fanon Xander becomes canon Xander. Only I am the author and god of the universe, so I guess Xander is simply getting a personality besides "i am evil god and eat people's hearts". Frankly, Xander being awkward just makes him more a member of the wacky family.
Length: 1170 words
Date: March 5th, 2015
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