Sevvie sat down with her parents at the dining room table. “Seva, we have important news for you. You are now twelve years old. It is time you start to see a very special sort of health care professional.” said Xander.
Sevvie shook her head. “I don’t want to go. I’m not old enough yet.”
“Oh, come on, Seva, it shall not be as bad as you think it shall be! I know most tweens your age are afraid, but-”
“But Jiro will go with you, too!” said Illiam. This had not been part of the original plans, but anything to make Sevvie want to go. Jiro looked up from one of the Hunger Games books, agast. But Sevvie was just confused.
“Wait, wait, where are we going? Jiro has to go too?”
“Sevvie, Jiro, you’re going to go to the orthodontist.”
Sevvie breathed a sigh of relief. “The orthodontist, that’s much better. Um, he’s going to look at me and say I have perfect teeth. I don’t need braces, my teeth are actually flawless. Jiro, your teeth may need some work.”
Jiro shook his head. “Cadis got braces and he said that even though his teeth were pretty good, they had to be fixed anyway. The orthodontist is a ruthless doctor. Any flaw is too much.”
“Children, orthodontists and dentists are not doctors. They did not have to struggle through medical school like the rest of us, why, even your other father is more of a doctor than they!”
“Because I actually have an MD. Dentists just go to dentist school or whatever.”
“Remember when you used to tell us that all dentists trained in a secret monastery inside the teeth of mount rushmore?” asked Sevvie.
“I do not remember that, but I do not doubt that I said it.” replied Xander. Sevvie gave a tiny smirk to Jiro. They had a bet going to see who could make their dad admit to more ridiculous things. So far, Sevvie had four points, and Jiro had two. “Anyway, even though they are not real doctors, dentists are highly trained individuals, maybe not trained like 4 years of university, 4 years of med school, and for my program, six years of residency, though often it is more-”
“We get it, dear.” said Illiam.
“The dentist still goes through much struggle and heartache only to have the most thankless job in the universe, the teeth. So please, when you meet your orthodontist, show him the same respect you would show any person with a degree lesser than an MD who is still permitted to call themselves a doctor.”
Sevvie shook her head. “I don’t want to go. I’m not old enough yet.”
“Oh, come on, Seva, it shall not be as bad as you think it shall be! I know most tweens your age are afraid, but-”
“But Jiro will go with you, too!” said Illiam. This had not been part of the original plans, but anything to make Sevvie want to go. Jiro looked up from one of the Hunger Games books, agast. But Sevvie was just confused.
“Wait, wait, where are we going? Jiro has to go too?”
“Sevvie, Jiro, you’re going to go to the orthodontist.”
Sevvie breathed a sigh of relief. “The orthodontist, that’s much better. Um, he’s going to look at me and say I have perfect teeth. I don’t need braces, my teeth are actually flawless. Jiro, your teeth may need some work.”
Jiro shook his head. “Cadis got braces and he said that even though his teeth were pretty good, they had to be fixed anyway. The orthodontist is a ruthless doctor. Any flaw is too much.”
“Children, orthodontists and dentists are not doctors. They did not have to struggle through medical school like the rest of us, why, even your other father is more of a doctor than they!”
“Because I actually have an MD. Dentists just go to dentist school or whatever.”
“Remember when you used to tell us that all dentists trained in a secret monastery inside the teeth of mount rushmore?” asked Sevvie.
“I do not remember that, but I do not doubt that I said it.” replied Xander. Sevvie gave a tiny smirk to Jiro. They had a bet going to see who could make their dad admit to more ridiculous things. So far, Sevvie had four points, and Jiro had two. “Anyway, even though they are not real doctors, dentists are highly trained individuals, maybe not trained like 4 years of university, 4 years of med school, and for my program, six years of residency, though often it is more-”
“We get it, dear.” said Illiam.
“The dentist still goes through much struggle and heartache only to have the most thankless job in the universe, the teeth. So please, when you meet your orthodontist, show him the same respect you would show any person with a degree lesser than an MD who is still permitted to call themselves a doctor.”
The siblings sat in the colorful waiting room, where pictures of horrifying, grotesque, overly cheering faces smiled at them, each with a perfect, oversized mouth of teeth. There was DDR in another room, as well as a frozen yogurt machine, but both kids were too nervous to obtain any frozen yogurt. Plus, soon, that moment would come. The moment when the dentist would inspect… their teeth.
Jiro brushed his teeth three times a day, and even flossed daily, and Sevvie brushed hers twice a day and would occasionally floss, but both teens would be heckled by their dentist. “Stop eating so many sweets, young lady!! Stop grinding! Stop biting your tongue! Stop this! Stop that!” The endless cries of the dentist rang through the siblings ears. Soon they would meet a man who would do even more horrible things to their teeth.
A receptionist appeared. “Jiro and Seva?”
The siblings tried to stand up and face their fears, and Illiam pushed them slightly forward. In horror, they followed the receptionist to an examination room. There was one dentists bed, two chairs, a desk for the dentist and bookshelves full of books. The walls were covered in pictures showing before and after shots of people who had braces. On the desk was a sculpture depicting teeth.
“WELL HELLO HELLO HELLO!” said a man, seemingly appearing from nowhere, “Why, you must be the Ashbur twins, you’re both so adorable!”
“Ashbur-Nesline,” corrected Illiam, “And they’re just siblings, Dr. Froomb.”
“I could have sworn there were twins.” said Dr. Froomb.
“My brother and I are twins?” asked Illiam.
The orthidontist shrugged. “Anyway, which one of you two lucky siblings wants to get your mouth examined first? Sevlie? Jria?”
“Sevlie” raised her hand. “I’ll go first, I guess.”
The orthidontist looked at his sheet again. “Huh, guess I got the genders mixed up too. Whatever! Sevlie, just lie on down, we’ll take a great big look at your chompers!”
Sevvie laid down, and the orthidontist examined her mouth.
“When’s the last time you brushed?”
“Dad made us brush before we came here.”
“Eugh. Sure doesn’t look like it. Need better brushing techniques, little lady. And look at these teeth. Mr. Ashbur-Nesline, you’re going to have quite the bill to pay.”
“It’s Dr. Ashbur, I’m a psychiatrist. And yes, my husband and I will handle it.”
“Okay, come down, we’ll take a closer look later. Jria, is that your name, come on up next.”
“It’s Jiro.” said Jiro, lying down.
“Isn’t that a japanese name?”
“People always ask that.” said Jiro.
“Your teeth look okay. How old are you, eleven? Never too young to get them straightened. Your teeth look okay, but your mouth is too small.”
“Too small?” asked Jiro.
“You’re going to need to have your mouth expanded before we can start. Palete expander, costs around a thousand extra.”
Illiam sighed. “Does his mouth really have to be bigger?”
“If you want a healthy smile, than sure! If you want a rotten mouth full of crooked old teeth, than why not omit the pallate expander! Why not omit toothpaste, brushing, floss, dentist visits, and even just rinsing out the mouth, why not just let those disgusting old teeth turn into vile abominations, no palate expander.”
“I don’t think it’s really as dramatic as all that.” sighed Illiam, but already Jiro was frightened by the prospect. Bad teeth? No! he had to have good teeth. His teeth were good.
“Anyway, kids, before I send you off to get X-rays, any questions?”
“Will I still be able to use my really cool hypersonic toothbrush when I have braces?” asked Sevvie.
“Not if you don’t want your teeth to crack into ten thousand little pieces! Ha ha, just kidding, you can use it fine.”
“Can I get those cool invisalign braces like my friend Cadis has?” asked Sevvie again.
“Well honey, Caitlynn has much better teeth than yours, I’m sure she can wear invisalign, but you can’t! It’s the good ole metal for you!”
Jiro thought of a question. “How many times a month do we have to come in when we have braces?”
“Around once a month, sometimes twice, we have to replace your bands and a bunch of other stuff, don’t worry, we have frozen yogurt, it’s fun! Only wait, you can’t eat the frozen yogurt once your braces are on, tricked you there!”
“How long do we gotta wear braces?” asked Sevvie.
“Years!” exclaimed the orthidontist. “You two will be my little friends for years and years and years! Any more questions, kids?”
Sevvie and Jiro both shook their heads, and Dr. Froomb nodded. “Well, Sevile, Jiro, nice to meet both you wacky kids, Dr. Ashbur-Nesline, once they get X-rayed we’ll get a price, but we’re looking in the thousands here.”
“It’s fine.” said Illiam. “We’ll be able to pay.”
“Well then, goodbye!”
Once the doctor was gone, Sevvie and Jiro looked at each other. “Dad….” started Sevvie. “Do we have to go here? To this orthodontist?”
“Kids, he is the top rated orthodontist in the area. Plus, you’ll hardly see him, the dental assistants do all the work.”
“So he went to school for years to do what, misremember our names and scare us?” asked Jiro. Illiam sighed.
“I’m sure he does important stuff like figure out where the braces should go and the like.”
“I know where the braces should go.” said Sevvie. “On our teeth!”
Jiro brushed his teeth three times a day, and even flossed daily, and Sevvie brushed hers twice a day and would occasionally floss, but both teens would be heckled by their dentist. “Stop eating so many sweets, young lady!! Stop grinding! Stop biting your tongue! Stop this! Stop that!” The endless cries of the dentist rang through the siblings ears. Soon they would meet a man who would do even more horrible things to their teeth.
A receptionist appeared. “Jiro and Seva?”
The siblings tried to stand up and face their fears, and Illiam pushed them slightly forward. In horror, they followed the receptionist to an examination room. There was one dentists bed, two chairs, a desk for the dentist and bookshelves full of books. The walls were covered in pictures showing before and after shots of people who had braces. On the desk was a sculpture depicting teeth.
“WELL HELLO HELLO HELLO!” said a man, seemingly appearing from nowhere, “Why, you must be the Ashbur twins, you’re both so adorable!”
“Ashbur-Nesline,” corrected Illiam, “And they’re just siblings, Dr. Froomb.”
“I could have sworn there were twins.” said Dr. Froomb.
“My brother and I are twins?” asked Illiam.
The orthidontist shrugged. “Anyway, which one of you two lucky siblings wants to get your mouth examined first? Sevlie? Jria?”
“Sevlie” raised her hand. “I’ll go first, I guess.”
The orthidontist looked at his sheet again. “Huh, guess I got the genders mixed up too. Whatever! Sevlie, just lie on down, we’ll take a great big look at your chompers!”
Sevvie laid down, and the orthidontist examined her mouth.
“When’s the last time you brushed?”
“Dad made us brush before we came here.”
“Eugh. Sure doesn’t look like it. Need better brushing techniques, little lady. And look at these teeth. Mr. Ashbur-Nesline, you’re going to have quite the bill to pay.”
“It’s Dr. Ashbur, I’m a psychiatrist. And yes, my husband and I will handle it.”
“Okay, come down, we’ll take a closer look later. Jria, is that your name, come on up next.”
“It’s Jiro.” said Jiro, lying down.
“Isn’t that a japanese name?”
“People always ask that.” said Jiro.
“Your teeth look okay. How old are you, eleven? Never too young to get them straightened. Your teeth look okay, but your mouth is too small.”
“Too small?” asked Jiro.
“You’re going to need to have your mouth expanded before we can start. Palete expander, costs around a thousand extra.”
Illiam sighed. “Does his mouth really have to be bigger?”
“If you want a healthy smile, than sure! If you want a rotten mouth full of crooked old teeth, than why not omit the pallate expander! Why not omit toothpaste, brushing, floss, dentist visits, and even just rinsing out the mouth, why not just let those disgusting old teeth turn into vile abominations, no palate expander.”
“I don’t think it’s really as dramatic as all that.” sighed Illiam, but already Jiro was frightened by the prospect. Bad teeth? No! he had to have good teeth. His teeth were good.
“Anyway, kids, before I send you off to get X-rays, any questions?”
“Will I still be able to use my really cool hypersonic toothbrush when I have braces?” asked Sevvie.
“Not if you don’t want your teeth to crack into ten thousand little pieces! Ha ha, just kidding, you can use it fine.”
“Can I get those cool invisalign braces like my friend Cadis has?” asked Sevvie again.
“Well honey, Caitlynn has much better teeth than yours, I’m sure she can wear invisalign, but you can’t! It’s the good ole metal for you!”
Jiro thought of a question. “How many times a month do we have to come in when we have braces?”
“Around once a month, sometimes twice, we have to replace your bands and a bunch of other stuff, don’t worry, we have frozen yogurt, it’s fun! Only wait, you can’t eat the frozen yogurt once your braces are on, tricked you there!”
“How long do we gotta wear braces?” asked Sevvie.
“Years!” exclaimed the orthidontist. “You two will be my little friends for years and years and years! Any more questions, kids?”
Sevvie and Jiro both shook their heads, and Dr. Froomb nodded. “Well, Sevile, Jiro, nice to meet both you wacky kids, Dr. Ashbur-Nesline, once they get X-rayed we’ll get a price, but we’re looking in the thousands here.”
“It’s fine.” said Illiam. “We’ll be able to pay.”
“Well then, goodbye!”
Once the doctor was gone, Sevvie and Jiro looked at each other. “Dad….” started Sevvie. “Do we have to go here? To this orthodontist?”
“Kids, he is the top rated orthodontist in the area. Plus, you’ll hardly see him, the dental assistants do all the work.”
“So he went to school for years to do what, misremember our names and scare us?” asked Jiro. Illiam sighed.
“I’m sure he does important stuff like figure out where the braces should go and the like.”
“I know where the braces should go.” said Sevvie. “On our teeth!”
Author's Notes:
Frankly I think in the vast majority of cases braces are a scam, and this reflects in this story. Will it ever be completed? Who knows.
Length: 1340 words
Date: March 30th, 2015
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