Kir had gotten used to Tavis's presence. He'd been here a few weeks now, and Kir was actually finding the vampire more than tolerable, but rather... Kir couldn't describe it. It had eased a pain he had forgotten he didn't have to feel. Loneliness.
He was no longer lonely.
"So, Kir, we've known each other for almost a month now, and I don't even know one of the most important things about you!" said Tavis, looking up from his book. "Are you a skeleton necromancer or a zombie necromancer?"
"I prefer wraiths, actually." said Kir. "So long as they're well-controlled, a single wraith can massively increase the size of your army."
"Aw, come on though. Skeleton or zombie, the two classics. If you had to pick one of them."
"Zombies. For the same reason. Though trying to manage all your zombies is like herding cats."
"I resent that, you know." said Leroi, who was sitting on one of Kir's bookends, licking himself. Kir patted the cat in apology, though privately he thought that managing the zombies may be slightly easier than dealing with that one feline.
Tavis, used to Kir and the cat having private conversations, simply nodded in agreement. "I'm more of a skeleton man myself, but I like your logic. Back home I've mostly got skeletons, though there are some zombies, and a few wraiths and my vampire spawn."
"You make vampire spawn?" asked Kir.
"Yeah. I've got them on like, a two year program, they agree to be my spawn for two years, when the time's up, I'll release them to be regular vampires."
"People actually want to be vampires?" asked Kir again, even more horrified.
Tavis blinked. "I became one willingly, ya know. I....don't turn people nonconsensually. Being a vampire is a major lifestyle choice."
Kir laughed. "A lifestyle choice. More like an unlifestyle choice. A deathstyle choice."
"Deathstyle, I like that, I'm going to write that down. But what about undeathstyle choice? No, that's a bit too much."
In an attempt to change the topic, Kir asked, "So, um, what's so great about skeletons?" That successfully changed the topic, and Tavis smiled widely, exposing his many sharp teeth.
"Oh, I just love them! A good bloody skeleton will last you forever. They simply never end! Plus they're just much faster and easier to handle than zombies. Zombies get slower when they die, skeletons can just stay where they were, or even get faster. The bones are so much more flexible without all the meat on them."
"And skeletons. Do you make people into skeletons willingly, or not?"
Tavis shrugged. "It depends. Skeletons aren't sentient, and people's spirits aren't there with the skeleton, unless they're specially trained. Though many of my old skellies are made of my enemies' bones, the newer ones are made of the bones of our dead volunteers, who want to serve their country after death."
"I don't actually know where my bones come from." confessed Kir. "But I'm sure it's ethical."
"Whatever helps you sleep through the day." Tavis's face grew contemplative, clearly thinking of something, then his bright red eyes lit up. "Hey, there's someone I want to meet!" The mage waved his hands, and a skeleton, wearing leather armor and equipped with a longbow and two scimitars appeared. "This is my son!"
"That is a skeleton." replied Kir, staring at the skeleton.
"This is my tiny baby son and I love him." said Tavis, kissing the skeleton on top of his helmet. Despite being called tiny by the necromancer, the skeleton was actually slightly taller than Tavis, and he had to float up in order to kiss him.
"Dad, please, stop!" said the skeleton, who seemed more amused by the vampire than anything else. "Daaaaaddd."
"Is- is this really your son?"
"What, you didn't mention me yet, dad?" asked the skeleton. "Yeah, Tavis is my real dad. My mom and him are my actual biological parents. I mean, not that that's a requirement, but you know, that's what I meant. Tavis. He's my dad."
Kir stared at the father and son pair, trying his best not to be utterly horrified. He tried to think of words to convey his current emotion that wouldn't be totally offensive. Finally, he said, "Um...Tavis's son.... whose name I do not know..... um....... did you want to be a skeleton?"
Tavis's son laughed. "Well, it was better than being dead, that's for sure! And yeah, it's cool! I'm really strong and powerful, and I can help out my dad again. Oh, and I'm Jakob."
"Jakob, um, if it's not rude to ask, um, how did you die?"
Tavis instead answered. "Remember when I started to tell you my life story and you were like "tavis, we're not friends yet and i'm also often a big sourpuss, so don't tell me your whole life story" and I was like "but kir, i have a cool life story" and you were like "nawwww" and then I never told you my life story? Yeah, Jakob's my kid. I used to be a teacher-"
"I remember that part."
"Well, yeah, my wife and I had a school, and we taught all the little children, and then the priests of Elolei burned down our school, and everyone died, including Jakob, except for me. But now Jakob's around again, and it's okay!"
"So you'd rather be a skeleton than up in... whatever afterlife you went to?"
Jakob shook his head. "I don't really remember it much. And I'd much rather be with my dad than all alone up there. That's the only thing I remember. I was always kind of alone."
Kir tried to smile at Tavis, though it was hard. "Well, um, Jakob, it was nice to meet you, and also learn you exist. Um, is your mom undead too? A whole undead family? Like, I dunno, a ghost or something?"
Tavis and Jakob both looked uncomfortable at the mention of Jakob's mother. Kir wasn't sure how he knew that Jakob looked uncomfortable, as he was still a skeleton, but he just did. "Yeah, she's dead. 100% dead. And we'd like to keep it that way." said Tavis. "She died in the fire, but the priests of Elolei ressurected her. Because she betrayed us to them. And much later I had to kill her. Again! Anyway, that's enough of complex family tree explanation! I think Jakob should meet Bara!"
"What? No! You are still banned from ever meeting Bara and her family. I mean, the immediate family. And so is Jakob! Her parents are druids! I think they would not be pleased with the undead. Danill barely tolerates me."
"Danill loves the shit out of you!" said Tavis. "Oh, whoops, sorry son, he loves the shoot out of him."
"I'm 17, dad." said Jakob, but Tavis shooshed his son and kissed him on the head again.
"No, you are my tiny baby son, and you shouldn't have to hear your father say bad words. Kir, to Bara we go!"
"No, no, no! That is one of the main instructions my uncle gave me about watching you before he wandered off and left me with you for good."
"Harumph." said Tavis, floating to where he could rest his head on his arms and his arms on Kir's head. "What about tomorrow?"
"No."
"What about the day after that?"
"No."
"What about... in a week."
"Tavis, you are never meeting Bara. You tried to send Olive to kill her, remember?"
"I didn't know it was her! And um, they would just resurrect her! That's what you rich people do with your relatives. What about two weeks?"
"Nope."
"What about at our wedding?"
"Our what? Tavis, we are not even- no!!"
"What about at Jakob's wedding?"
"NO!"
"What about......"
Author's Notes:
This is listed as a continuation of the previous story, but it has its own story and structure on its own, so I've listed it separately. Also, it's not as good as Tavkir part 1, though I do enjoy it. I love writing Tavkir, but it seems people don't love reading Tavkir. So there is not as much Tavkir as one would like.
Length: 1298 words
Date: March 17th, 2015
No comments:
Post a Comment